Looking Back On My Year

This is what my happiness jar looked like coming to the end of 2014. I just finished reading through my happy moments. There were so many! I was surprised by how many notes I put in there because there were times I forgot about the jar for weeks. I noticed that I had a lot of the little things documented. I love that. I'm proud of myself for finding joy in the little things. I hope to carry that into 2015.

Although these were small notes on small pieces of paper, I was able to see the ways in which I've grown. I'm so glad I was able to look back on that. Hopefully, I will be able to grow more and continue to be comfortable in my own skin.

Next time I would make sure to add the dates to every note and to try to put moments in the jar the day they happened. I say that because there were things I added to my jar from previous weeks and my feelings about those moments had changed. I feel like it was important to be authentic. To be happy in the moment. Hopefully next year I can add to my jar closer to when the moment happens.

My happiness jar showed me that it was a good year and I'm very thankful for it. Here's to 2015!!

Books of 2014

I love books! At the beginning of 2014 I made a goal to read more. That was going well and I was reading for pleasure and loving it. Then I started grad school and reading for fun took a back seat but I'm so glad I got to read each and everyone of these books this year. Here is the list with links to my blog posts about them:

• For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf by Ntozake Shange
• Mom and Me and Mom by Maya Angelou
• Sister Citizen by Melissa Harris-Perry
• The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
• On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer
• Things I Should Have Told My Daughter by Pearl Cleage

Mom & Me & Mom

It's no secret that I love Maya Angelou. I feel that she's guiding me through life. I'll jump at any chance to read more of her words and learn from her. I've already shared quotes from this book on my blog. This book really spoke to me. It was so intimate and personal. I loved it.

Favorite quotes:

• "Love heals. Heals and liberates."
•  "I may never be known as a philanthropist, but I certainly want to be known as charitable."

 Must read for all my Maya admirers!

Books I Read: Things I Should Have Told My Daughter

Things I Should Have Told My Daughter by Pearl Cleage

I looked into reading this book after seeing Pearl Cleage on Melissa Harris-Perry's show. My favorite thing about this book is that these are her actual journal entries from a decade of her life. It really made me want to journal more. I really need to work on writing more. At least once a week. I did enjoy following her life and I feel like this is a book I can go back and read during different stages of my own life.

Here are some quotes that I loved:

• "I will claim myself for myself."
• "I told a student today: You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Praise yourself as much as you fuss at yourself.' And I could have been talking to myself. And I was. And I will."

I think this is a great read for women, activist women, women of color--particularly black women, and writers. I really enjoyed it.  

Books I Read: Sister Citizen

Sister Citizen by Melissa V. Harris-Perry

I read this book earlier in the year and I absolutely loved it. I had so many thoughts on it that I never even took the time to sit down and write about it. I wrote all over the pages and  I have stickers over this whole book. I don't even know where to begin.

My favorite aspects of this book:

• The connections made between American classics like Their Eyes Were Watching God or For Colored Girls and the issues that Black women in America face daily. 
• I loved the use of poetry, quotes, and imagery. I wasn't expecting that in a political book.
• I really enjoyed the quotes from various women from different places. I think it's so important for people's voices and experiences to be shared. 
• The range of topics the book covered. It raises discussion of religion, strength, beauty, disasters, and so much more. It reaffirms the importance of looking at every aspect of life. We have to be aware of how race, gender, class, past experience, religion, etc all intersect to shape our lives. All of those pieces to our individual puzzles mean something. They set us apart from one another and we have to recognize those differences.

---
This is what the book looked like after I was done:

I'll select a few of the quotes I highlighted:

• "It is so easy to be hopeful in the day time when you can see the things you wish on. But it is was night,  it stayed night. Night was striding across nothingness with the whole round world i his hands." -Zora Neale Hurston
• "...this book makes the claim that the internal, psychological, emotional, and personal experiences of black women are inherently political. They are political because black women in America have always had to wrestle with derogatory assumptions about their character and identity. These assumptions shape the social world that black women must accommodate or resist in an effort to preserve their authentic selves and to secure recognition as citizens. This is less a book about what black women do to become first-class citizens than one about how they feel while they are in that struggle."
• "If Black women were free, it would mean that everyone else would have to be free since our freedom would necessitate the destruction of all the systems of oppression." - Combahee River Collective
•  "Sometimes black women can conquer negative myths, sometimes they are defeated, and sometimes they choose not to fight. Whatever the outcome, we can better understand sisters as citizens when we appreciate the crooked room in which they struggle to stand upright."
• "...shamed individuals see themselves as particularly worthy of punishment. Shame eats away at self-esteem and makes every social role more difficult."
• "If African-American women are led to believe that strength is an essential, inborn characteristic--a racial rule--then showing weakness or asking for help becomes traitorous."

----

I think everyone should read this book. 

Celebrating Me: December 6th

It's already December! How did that happen?

This past month has been very eventful. It's been an emotional roller coaster but that's okay. It's important to recognize that you will go through many different feelings an emotions during the course of a day, or week, or month, even from one minute tot he next. I may joke sometimes and say that I'm over emotional like it's a bad thing but I don't really think there's anything wrong with feeling things. What's important is that we don't let any one feeling define us and we don't let ourselves see our emotions and feelings as flaws. Additionally, we can't forget that emotions are not flaws in other people. If someone is expressing anger it is because they are angry about something and that it a human emotion. They are not inherently angry.  The same goes for all other emotions and feelings.

I started reading Robin Roberts' Everybody's Got Something and I've been enjoying it so far. I'm really glad I picked it up!

This time of year is my favorite because I feel that this time of year is about love and spending time with people you care about. It's about showing people how much you care for them and keeping them close. It's a great time of year.

Today, I'm feeling great because it's the weekend, I had a wonderful Friday, and I was very productive. I'm feeling slightly stressed as the end of my first semester of grad school comes to an end but I've been working on being more organized and I know that I can get my stuff done. I'm excited that winter is finally here. It's time for hot chocolate and fuzzy slippers. I'm really excited.



My quote of the day is:

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

-Maya Angelou

Your life matters. You are beautiful. You deserve to be here. You deserve the right to feel and have the space to express those feelings. You are enough. ♥

Never Forget Them

 

 Trayvon Martin. Mike Brown. Oscar Grant. Jordan Davis. Eric Garner. John Crawford. Ezell Ford. Tamir Rice. Sean Bell. Amadou Diallo. Rekia Boyd. Miriam Carey. Alesia Thomas. Melissa Williams. Kendra James. Johnathan Ferrell. Patrick Dorismond. Orlando Barlow. Ousmane Zongo. Timothy Stansbury. Ronald Madison. James Brissette. Aaron Campbell. Steve Eugene Washington. Ramarley Graham. Manuel Loggins Jr. Akia Gurley. Aiyanna Jones. Pearlie Golden. Tarika Wilson. Shantel Davis. Tyisha Miller. Heather Parker. Delores Epps. Robin Taneisha Williams. Erica Collins.

---

Don't forget their names. Don't forget their stories. Don't forget how the justice system failed them. They were brought into this world to be loved but unfortunately they all suffered the injustice of being killed at the hands of people who were supposed to be protecting them. There is a problem in our society. In 2014 we are still questioning whether or not the lives of Black people matter. This is still something that people think it up for debate. Why are young black boys being put on trail and blamed for their own murders? Where is the justice? When will it end? Every life matters. They were sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, etc. Their lives meant something to someone. THEIR LIVES MATTERED. BLACK LIVES MATTER. We deserve the justice that our country forces school aged children to recite about every morning. With liberty and justice for all? Who is included in the "all"? What does that justice look like for Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin or the other names on this list and the names that are missing? How long will we have to wait for an answer? Enough is enough. Don't ask people why they're angry. Get angry with them. The situation at hand is not okay and we should refuse to be silent about it. 

Your life matters. Each and every day, your life matters. You should not be afraid of the world around you. We will stand together and stay angry until change happens. 

Also, if you do have strong feelings about these recent events, know that your feelings are valid. Know that it's okay to feel the way you do. Whether you're sad, angry, upset, depressed, etc.--you're allowed to have those feelings and you're probably not the only one feeling the way you do. You're not alone in this and you are loved.   

Celebrating Me: November 6th

Today was a rainy day and I just love rainy days. I feel great that today is Thursday. Thursday means some of my favorite shows are on! Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder! How to Get Away With Murder and Red Band Society are my favorite shows that have premiered this fall. I always enjoy my shows! Something to look forward to at the end of the day.


Lately I've been reading "Mom and Me and Mom" by Maya Angelou and I love it. Every day I read it, I feel like I've learned so much. I feel like I'm learning not only about Maya Angelou but about my self, love, life, relationships, and so much more. I'm loving every minute of it.


Today, my quote of choice is,

"Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself." -Alice Walker

Overall, today was a good day. I was pleased with the weather. My shows were on. I got to wear my cute scarf and coat. I'm in love with this time of year and I'm so glad to finally be celebrating my first fall in NYC in a long time. I think the proper term is excited. I'm excited about fall! The only thing I would wish for is a full day in bed with movies and good tv--preferably with a rainy setting outside. I feel like that would top off my transition into fall just perfectly but nothing has matched up in my favor. It's okay though because school and work are going quite well so I'm okay with waiting until Thanksgiving.

Thoughts at the moment: I don't want to twist my hair for bed. :(


I hope the weekend is good to you. You are loved.

Happy Motivation Monday!

“Love heals. Heals and liberates. I use the word love, not meaning sentimentality, but a condition so strong that it may be that which holds the stars in their heavenly positions and that which causes the blood to flow orderly in our veins.”

-Maya Angelou 

I found this lovely quote in Maya Angelou's book, "Mom and Me and Mom." I haven't finished reading this book yet but I'm so in love with it. It brings me joy every time I open it. I love this quote. It's a reminder that love is a very powerful force. Love does heal. 

Learning to love yourself is one of the best things you can ever learn to do. That loves helps you learn to forgive yourself and to be kind to yourself. It's a daily process and its worth all the work you put into it.

Believe in love.

Have a great week!

Be Inspired: Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Photo Credit: Eunique Jones

"Although I grew up in very modest and challenging circumstances, I consider my life to be immeasurably rich."

-Justice Sonia Sotomayor

NPR: Sotomayor on Love, Health, And Family

"Don't mistake politeness for lack of strength."

-Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Celebrating Me: October 6th and 7th.

I'm sitting at work today helping my students with their homework yesterday and I realize that today is the 7th and I did not take my selfie yesterday! I remember telling myself last week to remind myself but apparently, I forgot to remind myself. I took a selfie today and I also have one from the 5th.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I'm upset I forgot about my selfie. I didn't get as much done as I had hoped but my class went well Monday morning and I went out for drinks after work. My pina colada was very yummy! I also got a lot of sleep which is something I forgot to do all weekend because of a paper that was due Sunday night.

Today was not as great. My students were stressing me out today. I missed the bus by a minute and it threw my whole day off. I'm upset with myself because I still haven't cleaned my room nor have I done my laundry and those tasks were on my to-do list this past weekend. So today, I felt silenced, frustrated, and stressed out. On another note, I'm enjoying this fall weather that is finally here. I'm happy for boots, scarves, and cardigans!

My goals for this month are to stay focused! I need to stay on top of things, not only blogging but my school work and my work as well. Lastly, I need to not let it upset me when people talk over me or try to silence me when they are wrong and strong. I know what's right in my heart and I shouldn't let it get me upset.

Lastly, I'm growing stronger every day. I can only be me. There's only one me and I dedicate my time and my life to being good to myself in any way possible. Love yourself every single day because no matter what anyone else says, you deserve that love.

PS. I'm short, fat, and proud of that.

Last Night of September

It seems like this month came and went in a flash. I view September as a month of newness. School starts and the weather begins to change. As a student and someone who is very close to school age students I feel like this is kind of like a new year. You set new goals, you have new books to read and blank pages to fill, new teachers, and new classes. It's all very exciting. Everything is brand new and it's a sign of how far you've come.

I get excited when this time of year comes around. I love all the fall holidays, going back to school and watching students go back makes me very happy, and I'm so grateful for the cooler weather that's coming.

I started working towards my Masters degree this September and the nerves and excitement are still here. I haven't been in school since last December so this is a very interesting change for me. I'm still getting the hang of being back in school. A new month begins tomorrow so we'll see what October brings me. Every day brings its gifts and I hope that some of these October days can find me a cure for procrastination.

I had to put this song here because it makes me so happy. So in case you needed to dance your way out of September, here's the perfect jam for you!



Be well♥

World Suicide Prevention Day: I'm so happy that you're alive

Today, September 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day. The love and support and compassion shown on this day has always meant so much to me. I think this day serves as a reminder that mental illnesses are real. I think this serves as a reminder that you're not alone in what you're going through. Seeing love written on someone else's wrist reminds me that there's someone who cares and they'res someone who has possible been in the same place that I've been. There's a possibility that we'll all rise above our thoughts that trap us in the middle of the night. Today is a day to be aware and spread awareness. This day is reminder to share resources and be there for one another. Every and any ounce of your strength and hope can help another person and you can achieve that just by being yourself and being there. Listen, talk, share your experiences, spread hope. Every bit counts.

Your life matters always. You deserve to be here always. Every bit of you is important and every bit of you deserves to be here. In your pain, your stress, your sadness, depression, you matter and you deserve to be here. At 4am, 5pm, 3pm, 24/7--you matter, your life matters, and you deserve to be here! During finals week, first week of school, first day at a new job, or in between careers---your life matters and you deserve to be here! When you don't know what you want to do with your life or when you're finding that adulthood is not what you expected, remember that your life matters and you deserve to be here! Bad day, bad week, bad month, bad year--your life matters and you deserve to be here. No matter what, you matter. Your life matters and you deserve to be here!

♥

"You are a child of the universe! No less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here."

 --- 

Resources:

• suicdepreventionlifeline.org
• 1-800-273-8255 (Suicide Hotline US)
• thenicestplaceontheinter.net
• talkspace.com
• 7cupsoftea.com
• thequietplaceproject.com
• http://thequietplaceproject.com/thethoughtsroom/
• Crisis Text Line: Text “SUPPORT” to 741741
• Suicide Prevention Help Guide 
• 11 Facts About Suicide 
• International Association for Suicide Prevention
• Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts

Happy Motivation Monday!

"I am stronger than my past experiences, downfalls, mistakes, rough days, bad habits, disappointments, anxieties, and sadnesses. While some days they may get the best of me, I am continually growing and learning how to cope with what comes my way."

This line in Pearl Cleage's lastest book found a special place in my heart. I read it over a few times before I moved on.

"I will claim myself for myself..."

♥

Celebrating Me: September 6th

I took my selfie yesterday on the 6th but I never got the chance to upload it! I had a great day. I went to a family potluck and really enjoyed myself. There was great company and great food so no complaints.

So yesterday, and this past month has been very interesting. I feel as though now I'm becoming a lot more comfortable with myself. I finally feel like I'm settling after having moved from Florida to New York last December. I'm really getting the hang of things.

I also have been experimenting more with bright colors and accessories that I feel compliment my personality more. So I really wanted to make sure my new favorite lip color made my September selfie!

This month I've been making sure I edit myself less. As I'm growing, a daily process, I realize the importance of being my authentic self and loving my authentic self as much as I can. I think it's really important to be myself. I can't edit myself for anyone. Take me as I am!

I started grad school last week and while I am a bit nervous, I couldn't be more excited to be going back to school and furthering my education. I would say 60% excitement and 40% nervousness. I'm only in my second week though so I believe that will change.

I go back to work tomorrow so that's one major thing I'm looking forward to. I missed my students so I'll be happy to see them again.!

I'm happy to be alive and I'm ready to see what this month brings me.

Goals for the this month:

• Stay focused
• Spread happiness and positivity
• Avoid procrastination

Self Care Reminder: August 23, 2014

Remember this: It's perfectly fine to remove toxic people from your life. It's okay to walk away from situations and relationships that make you feel anything less than the wonderful and deserving person that you are.

Under no circumstances are you obligated to keep negative and toxic people in you life. You do not owe anyone a relationship. You don't owe friendship to anyone who does not value you. You should not have to be something you're not to make someone else happy--especially when they are negatively impacting your life.

I think that one of the most important things to remember about "toxic people" is that they may not necessarily be bad people and sometimes these people are not always negatively affecting your life. It's important to know yourself and know when you need to take a break or when you need to be selfish with yourself. People's personalities tend to change. Think of the wide range of human emotions. Some people release very harmful and negative energy when they are stressed or overwhelmed or angry. Sometimes they say things that they don't mean. If you love these people, it's important to be there for them always but you have to be very careful not to get hurt in the process. Take breaks when things are uncomfortable for you. If it's not someone you love or feel any attachment to, walk away. You don't even need that stress. It's important to try to avoid negativity that hurts you when you're only try to love someone else.

You deserve the best.

Humanity.

There's a struggle in this country over humanity. Over who gets the right to feel human. Over who is allowed to have their humanity protected and not questioned. The struggle is getting this point across to people who do not see this because they have never had their humanity questioned. The reality is that people are literally fighting for their human rights. The point is that people are being told that their lives don't matter. That although we live in the land of the free, people are still living their lives without the satisfaction of knowing that whatever happens to them, they will be treated fairly and with justice wherever they go in this country. Nothing about it is okay and it's incredibly frustrating to know that there are people who will never understand that and no amount of words or acts of violence and discrimination, or stands for justice will ever remove them from their own ignorance of the matter.

While we fight for our rights and for ALL of society to see our humanity, I want to remind you that you are an important beautiful powerful human being. If I could, I would tell you all every day your lives matter. Your life matters. Black lives matter. Black women, your lives matter. Black men, your lives matter. Black youth, your life matters. Your experiences are valid. Your stories matter.

OUR LIVES MATTER.

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Friday Night/Saturday Morning Affirmations

It's important for me to treat myself with love and with kindness. It's okay to reward myself for my milestones and successes. I deserve to treat myself. I'm worth it. I've always been worth it.

♥

You're worth it. You deserve to be treated and to be rewarded. You deserve the opportunity to enjoy the little things. You deserve to be able to celebrate yourself and you should. Celebrate yourself every chance you get! The world is grateful to have you. I'm happy you're here. ♥

Celebrating Me: August 6th/7th

August Selfie = Birthday Selfie!!

I'm 22 years old! I really tried to post on my birthday but I got in after midnight and went straight to bed. So my selfie post is a day late but who says celebrations have to end?

I did the very stereotypical playing of Taylor Swift's 22 as I got ready for work. I actually only heard it once before on the day before my birthday because I wanted to see if I liked it before I made it the first song I listened to on my birthday. It is a very cute song and I'm glad one of my best friends, Mia, reminded me about it.

I started the self care presents by treating myself to a delicious bodega breakfast sandwich with a cup of coffee. Then I went to work and I made sure that I had on the beautiful skirt that I got for my birthday. I wore it all day even though I had time to change before going out after work but I wanted to feel special and it's my special day to celebrate me so I really tried not to feel guilty about anything."Treat yo self."

I got so many wonderful birthday wishes. Some of the students even sang happy birthday to me. It was great and so cute!! After work, I went out with my momma and two of my aunts to dinner and a movie all of which was wonderful as well. I think I fell asleep in the car on the way home. I was so tired. This was my birthday outfit.

 

Overall, I had a phenomenal birthday. I was a little apprehensive at first about working on my birthday but I'm glad I went to work. All the beautiful faces I got to see at work and the well wishes made my day so much more special. 22 feels different. I can't really explain it. I looked in the mirror after I woke up and I felt that I looked different--older. However, I'm not sure if I trust what my mind is really thinking at 5 in the morning. 

Most importantly, on my birthday I was in love with the skin I'm in. 

I'm happy to be here and to be alive.

21 brought me graduation, my Bachelor's degree and a move to New York.

I'm thankful for another year of life. I'm excited to see what 22 will bring!



---

Post birthday(today):

Today was an okay day. I was so tired from the night before and I think my lack of sleep gave me a headache that is only just now going away. Besides the headache and some overwhelming moments at work today, I had a good day. I'm happy that tomorrow is finally Friday. The weekend is near!

I've been  reading Pearl Cleage's latest book and I really can't put it down. I love it so far. There was something she wrote about writing and how creativity and laziness really battle it out all of the time. I strongly identified with that entire page. I'll write more about the book when I finish it. Every page is another piece of her life and that's just so cool to me!

---

Leaving you with a special quote. I hope you have an amazing and safe weekend!!

♥

I Am Human

"I am a human being, nothing human can be alien to me."

-Maya Angelou

On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer

"It came to her just before sleep, an idea crystallizing in the dark--how maybe the size of your world ain't what matter, whether it expand or shrink up or expand again. Hurdles to jump. You jump. Erase the lines, draw new ones. Chart a course and follow." (p290)

I recently finished reading On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer. I found out about this book when going through the Our Song tag on tumblr. This book is based on the life of Anna Simpson, one of the girls who stars in the film. Because I loved the movie, I had to make sure I found this book and I am so glad I did. This was a real page turner. I couldn't get enough of it. I really appreciated how honest and real this story came across. I also think that this is the first story I've read in a long time that really takes place in NYC and I especially loved that because I'm living in NYC again. I think that made it feel more real to me. I also loved any part of the book that was set while they were filming the movie. It felt like I was going behind the scenes of one of my favorite movies!

I loved reading this book early every morning during my commute to work. It was so easy to get lost in this book. I'm so glad I found it!

I recommend this for readers who:

• like to read biograhpies
• enjoy oral histories
• like stories that take place in urban settings
• want to read a story that takes place in NYC/Far Rockaway
• want to read a story about aspiring actresses/singers
• enjoy "coming of age" stories
• are interested in reading about teenage pregnancy/parenthood
• liked the movie "Our Song"
• are interested in reading LGBT stories
• love books you van get lost in

Because it is one of my favorite movies, here's the trailer for Our Song.

♥

Retail Therapy!

I think that shopping/retail therapy can be a great form of self care. I think so because when you're treating yourself, the focus is on you! Even when you're shopping for people you love, it feels great because your thinking about the people you love and care about and how you can make them happy. For me, making other people happy is a wonderful source of my own happiness. I make sure that I can make myself happy as much as possible. It's been harder during my long summer camp days to find time for me that does not include sleeping and showering. So I was excited to get some time in to buy somethings I needed and wanted too!

This week I decided that it was okay to treat myself. I was responding to my body's requests. I was stressed, tired, my feet hurt from these field trips and I thought that it was time to do a little pampering. I deserve it!

Over the past few days, I bought myself two new pairs of sneakers, a pair of sandals, and I treated myself to a much needed mani and pedi. All of the shoes were on sale so I got a great deal. Here are the results of my spending on me "spree."

The Other Side of Paradise

I recently finished reading "The Other Side of Paradise" by Staceyann Chin. I really enjoyed it. There were parts that made me laugh. There were parts that made me cry and gave me goosebumps. It had all the things I loved. The Other Side of Paradise, a memoir, was honest and left me wanting more. I've always been a big fan of Staceyann Chin. She has a wonderful way with words. You can always feel her passion and energy in her words. This book is no different.

♥ 

Quotes I loved:

"It tickles me to think that from my very first breath, everyone expected me to stop breathing. Against the odds, I surprised everybody. And I must admit that in some of the moments of my life so far, no one has been more taken aback by my own breath than me." (p.13)

"What you don't know is older than you! Sometimes your eyes fail you--sometimes what you see is not what is there." (p.44)

"...a man who only want to bring you down on you back is a man who will want to bring you down in life." (p.51)

"Read everything. The more knowledge you have, the less a man can use you for poppy-show" (p.51)

"Suddenly it dawns on me that, though leaving is hard, this is something I want to do. The choice to go is my decision. For the first time in my life my leaving is something I want to be happening to me. (p.271)

"I go from place to place spouting the gospel of courage and survival. I encourage victims to take hold of destiny and chart it for themselves." (p.274)

I recommend this book for people who:

• enjoy reading memoirs
• enjoy diversity in books
• want to read about queer people of color/women of color
• love Staceyann Chin
• want to read a story that takes place in Jamaica
• love real and honest readings
• want to read about real people and real imperfect families
• enjoy poetry and spoken word
• enjoy reading stories written by black women

Celebrating Me: July 6th

 

I am so proud of myself today. I was very productive. I cleaned my room. Did laundry.  Moisturized my hair and put my mini twists in flexirods (see scarf). Washed my sister's hair. Got my lunch ready for tomorrow. Refilled my metrocard. It was a good day. I did everything I set out to do this weekend. However, I planned to go to be at 10 and as I type this it is 10:04 so that didn't work out but it's okay. My bed isn't going anywhere and in the morning there will be coffee.

My job has transitioned from afterschool to summer camp so now my work day starts at 8. I secretly love mornings. I like sleeping in too but I really don't mind if I have to get up early. I think mornings are wonderful. A lot of times they're quiet. There's coffee and breakfast food!! It's usually cooler in the morning time. I'm a fan of mornings. To make my morning go smoothly, I do as much as I can the night before. I even instagrammed a little video of me making my salad and iced coffee. See it here.

Today, I'm so thankful for my family and all of the time I get to spend with them.

My selfie day today reminds me that my birthday is one month away! It also reminds me that half of the year has already flown by. I'm not sure about you but it feels like this year is going by so quickly! I'm honestly ready for the cold months to come back.

I'm currently reading The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin. I really love it. I'm almost finished. Finishing books can be so bittersweet sometimes. I'm really enjoying reading this story. With it being summer time, I've been seeing a lot of summer reading lists and my book wishlist is just getting longer and longer. I'm going to be excited to finish this book and then sad that it's over but then excited to start the next book. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to read next but I have plenty of good titles to choose from.

My productive day has left me tired but feeling accomplished. This heat has me miserable but I'm about to go moisturize with some lavender oil and drink some refreshing ice cold water.

Today, only after a refreshing and exfoliating shower, I felt wonderful and calm in my own skin. I'm happy to be where I am today and I'm excited to see what this month beings. 

Friendly Reminder

Your life and your experiences are always valid.

Don't spend your life comparing yourself to others. While it may seem that someone else is going through a hard time, it does not mean that what you're going through isn't important. If someone is more open about what they're going through, it doesn't make your life and your experiences any less real. If someone isn't really open about what their life and their experiences, it doesn't mean that their what they feel is not real. 

We're all human. It's natural for us all to feel different things and react differently to events in life. Nothing about us is one size fits all. We're different and that's good. That's what makes us all so special. That's also why we all need to have our differences respected and in respecting other people and their differences, we have to respect that we are different and our own differences need to be respected. Be good to you. You're worth it!

We matter. Our lives matter. Look at the person next to you, behind you, in front of you--think of the next person you're going to see. They matter. Their life matters. Their experiences and lives are valid and they deserved your respect. 

You're wonderful. Have a good day.

Feel Good Friday

Happy Friday!! The weekend is here and we've made it through another week! This was a pretty good week for me. It was a slow week but it gave me a chance to relax at home. I spent a lot of time playing The Sims 3 and marathoning some good TV. The summer camp I'll be working at this starts next week so I'm making sure I get some rest now.

This Friday morning, I'm starting my day off drinking a good cup of coffee and listening to some beautiful music. I just played "Put Your Records On" by Corrine Bailey Rae. Here, listen:

♥

Here's some more inspiration for your Friday, a quote that I love.

"Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they value you. 
Read it over. 
Again. 
Let those words resonate in your mind."

- Nayyirah Waheed

I hope you have a wonderful day and a beautiful weekend.

You are loved.

For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf

Just finished reading something special. For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf is a choreopoem by Ntozake Shange. I read this and it made me feel special. It makes me feel powerful in my own skin. I was finishing it on the bus and holding back tears. Right before I finished reading this, I took the time to read an article called Black Girls and Suicide. It was a really emotional commute for me. It's definitely something I would recommend. I also highly recommend the Black Girls and Suicide article.

Here are some of my favorite parts and quotes:

"& this is for colored girls who have considered suicide / but are moving to the ends of their own rainbows"

♥

“my love is too delicate to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too beautiful to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too sanctified to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too magic to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too saturday nite to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too complicated to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too music to have thrown back on my face.”

♥  

I just love this part to pieces. These words, like so many others in the book touched me so much. My love is too delicate to have thrown back in my face. I cannot trust it with just anyone. It is very important to me to give my love and my self only to those who I think deserve it. I've decided that I don't want to be stepped on. I don't want to put something do important to me in the hands of someone who doesn't value it. One of biggest battles and one thing that I try so hard to change is my feeling guilty about being selfish about my own self. I am priceless. You are priceless. We don't have to share any part of ourselves with anyone else. What you want to share is up to you. What I share is up to me. The decision is mine. Through recovery, self discovery, self realizations, triumphs, sadnesses and successes, my magical love has held me when no one else could and I'm not in any position to just throw it around.

♥

"this is mine/ this ain't yr stuff/
now why don't you put me back & let me hang out in my own self"

"wontchu put me back/

"stealing my shit from me/ don't make it yrs / makes it stolen/"

"if it's really my stuff/ ya gotta give it to me / if ya really want it / i'm the only one / can handle it"

My experiences are mine and they are valid. My life is my own and not to be compared with anyone else's.  I refuse to have my accomplishments shared while I drown in my losses alone.

Protect yourself from people that only want to be there for the highs. Watch out for those who are only around when you're up. Some people only want to share your successes but are no where to be found when you need help or when you're down.

Be careful not to compare your life and your "stuff" to other people's. You are living one life and one life only and it is yours. There is no competition. We were not put on this planet to race or compete with anyone. Live your life to the best of your ability. It's the only one you have so don't waste it focusing on someone else's.

You belong to you. I belong to me! I am my own woman.

♥

"one thing i don't need

is any more apologies

i got sorry greetin me at my front door

you can keep yrs

i dont know what to do wit em

they dont open doors

or bring the sun back

they dont make me happy

or get a morning paper

didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars

cuz a sorry

i am simply tired  of collectin"

It's hard to hear sorry sometimes. It's almost like a reflex to some people. Sometimes it doesn't have any meaning behind it. Sometimes I get sick of that word "sorry." I want to hear someone take responsibility. I think apologies should mean something. Don't even get me started on those super fake apologies that sound like, "I'm sorry that you think I did something wrong." What does that even mean? When you apologize, you should take responsibility instead of placing the blame on the person you've wronged. Sometimes I just don't know how to feel about "I'm sorry." Most times I appreciate the effort but "sorry" doesn't always fix anything and sometimes people don't even mean it.

"let sorry soothe yr soul / i'm gonna soothe mine"

♥

"but bein alive & bein a woman & being colored is a metaphysical dilemma / i havent conquered yet / do you see the point my spirit is too ancient to understand the separation of soul & gender / my love is too delicate to have thrown back on my face"

♥

"i found god in myself
& I loved her / i loved her fiercely"