The Sisters are Alright

I started my year of reading The Sisters Are Alright by Tamara Winfrey Harris and I’m so glad that I did! Reading The Sisters Are Alright so wonderfully reminded me of the black girl magic within me. It truly is a wonderful read. It’s fun and east to read and it covers so many different important aspects of black womanhood. What’s wrong with black women? Not a damned thing! It’s so empowering to feel the love for black women flow through the pages. Black womanhood is complex and special. It would be impossible to fit all of that magic into one book but this is a great place to start.

            “I love black women, and I want the world to love black women too.”

 On of my favorite components of the book are the "moments in alright" that highlight some of the amazing work that black women are doing in this world. Here's a really important one that actually helped me find a great resource for a paper and a group therapy that I designed. This moment also further affirms me on a path of becoming a black therapist.

 Moments in Alright:

"Believing that sexuality educators, therapists, counselors, and doctors must have more representation by women of color, the Women of Color Sexual Health Network is devoted to empowering and including more women of color, including black women, in he field of sexuality, sexology, and sexual health."

This book wonderfully covers so many important topics including the stereotypes we face as black women, the strong woman narrative, motherhood, respect, relationships, health, and so much more. It leaves you with a desire to continue to learn more about black women. This book was the beginning of a year of reading amazing works by and about black women. I made a short list of nonfiction and fiction works that would be great to read after reading this wonderful book that gives you so much to think about.

Further and Recommended Reading:

• Sister Citizen by Melissa Harris-Perry
• For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf
• Fast Tailed Girls
• Beloved by Toni Morrison
• Jessica Valenti – Full Frontal Feminism
• Ain’t I a Mommy
• Mammy, Jezebel, Sapphire, and their Homegirls
• Soft Magic by Upile Chisala
• Salt by Nayyirah Waheed

-->

Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in School by Monique M. Morris.

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Assata: An Autobiography

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

  Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

 ---

A Few More Quotes I Loved:

"Why am I going to fight what I am? I am made to be a beautiful woman on my own terms, why not just embrace that and be that? Am I going to hate myself forever...or am I going to be free?"

"I do have a right to be treated with respect--to demand respect. I wasn't wrong for doing that. We are never wrong for doing that."

 "What's wrong with black women?

Simple answer: Not a damned thing."

Happy Reading!!

♥

brown girl dreaming

Brown Girl Dreaming 

by Jacqueline Woodson

I really enjoyed this book! Jacqueline Woodson tells her childhood stories through free verse. It's so motivating and so inspirational. From the very beginning, brown girl dreaming perfectly captures the complicated beauty and strength and complexity of familial ties and the stories that come along with them. My absolute favorite part of reading this was feeling the determination of this young girl. This was a true reminder that we can achieve our childhood dreams. We all have the ability to follow our dreams to the best of our abilities despite our age, despite any family objections, and despite any perceived unlikeliness, our dreams are worth chasing. 

I also love that these childhood experiences and these stories are filled with so much perspective. I think that we all have our own way of viewing the world because we're all shaped by our own personal stories and experiences but there are similarities that bring us together and help us relate with complete strangers. Even though I wasn't a young girl growing up in Greenville, South Carolina in 1963 or in Bushwick in 1969, these stories still resonate with me. 

Just like in life, there are moments throughout her childhood that make us think our personal experiences and relationships with family, love, doubt, friendships, music, community/neighborhoods, birth, death, and so much more. It really was a great read. 

Recommended for

• all brown girls ready to chase a dream 
• all readers, especially middle schoolers
• anyone looking for stories about moving 
• City girls
• Southern girls
• people who love to write
•  People who believe in themselves, are learning to believe in themselves, want to learn how to believe in themselves. 
• Anyone who is a big fan of reading stories about people living through history/historical moments
• anyone who has ever thought that they were a little different but believed in themselves anyway

____
 
Favorite Parts & Quotes 

"You'll face in your life someday,
my mother will tell us
over and over again.
A moment when you walk into a room and 
no one there is like you." 


"Even the silence
has a story to tell you.
Just listen. Listen."


"The revolution is always going to be happening.
I want to write this down, that the revolution is like
a merry go round, history is always being made somewhere. 
And maybe for a short time,
we're apart of that history. And then the ride stops
and our turn is over[...]
My name is Jacqueline Woodson
and I am ready for the ride."


"I believe in one day and someday and this
perfect moment called Now."

 
"When there are many worlds, love can wrap itself 
around you, say, Don't cry. Say, You are as good as anyone
Say, Keep remembering me. And you know, even as the world explodes
around you--that you are loved..." 

-Jacqueline Woodson

Thank you, Jacqueline Woodson, for your beautiful words!  

Books I Read: God Help the Child

God Help the Child 

by Toni Morrison

---

I was so excited to read Toni Morrison's new novel. It was a great read. It covers such an important topic so I found it very interesting. I think it's a must read because it portrays how childhood trauma and pain goes through you for life. I think that's something that a lot of people can relate too. A lot of people have secrets or things in their past that they're still struggling with. Unfortunately, life doesn't slow down or pause for you to cope with your past. Many people unfortunately carry this weight alone because there's this idea that things that happen in your childhood or adolescence are minimal or it's something that you should be over by the time you reach adulthood. None of that is true. Things that happen years ago are still valid experiences that can bring you pain. Experiences in your childhood have an impact on your entire life, your relationships, your outlook on life, everything. Carrying the weight of these experiences can elicit so many experiences like shame, anger, sadness, or confusion. No one should have to go through that alone. What's great about a book like this is that it can start that conversation. It reminds us that everyone is going through or has been through something. Whether or not they share their whole story, their experiences are valid. What they feel is real and they are completely deserving of your love, respect, and understanding.

(TW: Sexual Abuse) This book also talks about childhood sexual abuse. The impact that is has on victims and the people around them. This is a topic that often goes unspoken, especially in the black community. So it may be triggering for some people but it may be a reminder to others that they are not alone in what happened to them.

I also enjoyed the many different relationships in this book. The relationships and bonds between lovers, brothers, friends. There's anger, regret, remorse, love--how those emotions react with one another and so much more. It will make you think of the ways in which we crave love. We all need and want love. There's a lot of emotion and truth packed into a quite small book and I think that's very special. It's real and honest. I definitely recommend it.

---

Quotes:

"Correct what you can; learn from what you can't."

 "No matter how hard we try to ignore it, the mind always knows truth and wants clarity."

"my sex life became sort of like Diet Coke--deceptively sweet minus nutrition."

“A child. New life. Immune to evil or illness, protected from kidnap, beatings, rape, racism, insult, hurt, self-loathing, abandonment. Error-free. All goodness. Minus wrath. So they believe.”

 "You don't have to love me but you damn well have to respect me."

 “What you do to children matters. And they might never forget.”

 “But stars can explode, disappear. Besides, what we see when we look at them may no longer be there. Some could have died thousands of years ago and we’re just now getting their light. Old information looking like news.”

Books of 2014

I love books! At the beginning of 2014 I made a goal to read more. That was going well and I was reading for pleasure and loving it. Then I started grad school and reading for fun took a back seat but I'm so glad I got to read each and everyone of these books this year. Here is the list with links to my blog posts about them:

• For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf by Ntozake Shange
• Mom and Me and Mom by Maya Angelou
• Sister Citizen by Melissa Harris-Perry
• The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
• On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer
• Things I Should Have Told My Daughter by Pearl Cleage

Mom & Me & Mom

It's no secret that I love Maya Angelou. I feel that she's guiding me through life. I'll jump at any chance to read more of her words and learn from her. I've already shared quotes from this book on my blog. This book really spoke to me. It was so intimate and personal. I loved it.

Favorite quotes:

• "Love heals. Heals and liberates."
•  "I may never be known as a philanthropist, but I certainly want to be known as charitable."

 Must read for all my Maya admirers!

Books I Read: Things I Should Have Told My Daughter

Things I Should Have Told My Daughter by Pearl Cleage

I looked into reading this book after seeing Pearl Cleage on Melissa Harris-Perry's show. My favorite thing about this book is that these are her actual journal entries from a decade of her life. It really made me want to journal more. I really need to work on writing more. At least once a week. I did enjoy following her life and I feel like this is a book I can go back and read during different stages of my own life.

Here are some quotes that I loved:

• "I will claim myself for myself."
• "I told a student today: You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Praise yourself as much as you fuss at yourself.' And I could have been talking to myself. And I was. And I will."

I think this is a great read for women, activist women, women of color--particularly black women, and writers. I really enjoyed it.  

Books I Read: Sister Citizen

Sister Citizen by Melissa V. Harris-Perry

I read this book earlier in the year and I absolutely loved it. I had so many thoughts on it that I never even took the time to sit down and write about it. I wrote all over the pages and  I have stickers over this whole book. I don't even know where to begin.

My favorite aspects of this book:

• The connections made between American classics like Their Eyes Were Watching God or For Colored Girls and the issues that Black women in America face daily. 
• I loved the use of poetry, quotes, and imagery. I wasn't expecting that in a political book.
• I really enjoyed the quotes from various women from different places. I think it's so important for people's voices and experiences to be shared. 
• The range of topics the book covered. It raises discussion of religion, strength, beauty, disasters, and so much more. It reaffirms the importance of looking at every aspect of life. We have to be aware of how race, gender, class, past experience, religion, etc all intersect to shape our lives. All of those pieces to our individual puzzles mean something. They set us apart from one another and we have to recognize those differences.

---
This is what the book looked like after I was done:

I'll select a few of the quotes I highlighted:

• "It is so easy to be hopeful in the day time when you can see the things you wish on. But it is was night,  it stayed night. Night was striding across nothingness with the whole round world i his hands." -Zora Neale Hurston
• "...this book makes the claim that the internal, psychological, emotional, and personal experiences of black women are inherently political. They are political because black women in America have always had to wrestle with derogatory assumptions about their character and identity. These assumptions shape the social world that black women must accommodate or resist in an effort to preserve their authentic selves and to secure recognition as citizens. This is less a book about what black women do to become first-class citizens than one about how they feel while they are in that struggle."
• "If Black women were free, it would mean that everyone else would have to be free since our freedom would necessitate the destruction of all the systems of oppression." - Combahee River Collective
•  "Sometimes black women can conquer negative myths, sometimes they are defeated, and sometimes they choose not to fight. Whatever the outcome, we can better understand sisters as citizens when we appreciate the crooked room in which they struggle to stand upright."
• "...shamed individuals see themselves as particularly worthy of punishment. Shame eats away at self-esteem and makes every social role more difficult."
• "If African-American women are led to believe that strength is an essential, inborn characteristic--a racial rule--then showing weakness or asking for help becomes traitorous."

----

I think everyone should read this book. 

On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer

"It came to her just before sleep, an idea crystallizing in the dark--how maybe the size of your world ain't what matter, whether it expand or shrink up or expand again. Hurdles to jump. You jump. Erase the lines, draw new ones. Chart a course and follow." (p290)

I recently finished reading On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer. I found out about this book when going through the Our Song tag on tumblr. This book is based on the life of Anna Simpson, one of the girls who stars in the film. Because I loved the movie, I had to make sure I found this book and I am so glad I did. This was a real page turner. I couldn't get enough of it. I really appreciated how honest and real this story came across. I also think that this is the first story I've read in a long time that really takes place in NYC and I especially loved that because I'm living in NYC again. I think that made it feel more real to me. I also loved any part of the book that was set while they were filming the movie. It felt like I was going behind the scenes of one of my favorite movies!

I loved reading this book early every morning during my commute to work. It was so easy to get lost in this book. I'm so glad I found it!

I recommend this for readers who:

• like to read biograhpies
• enjoy oral histories
• like stories that take place in urban settings
• want to read a story that takes place in NYC/Far Rockaway
• want to read a story about aspiring actresses/singers
• enjoy "coming of age" stories
• are interested in reading about teenage pregnancy/parenthood
• liked the movie "Our Song"
• are interested in reading LGBT stories
• love books you van get lost in

Because it is one of my favorite movies, here's the trailer for Our Song.

♥

The Other Side of Paradise

I recently finished reading "The Other Side of Paradise" by Staceyann Chin. I really enjoyed it. There were parts that made me laugh. There were parts that made me cry and gave me goosebumps. It had all the things I loved. The Other Side of Paradise, a memoir, was honest and left me wanting more. I've always been a big fan of Staceyann Chin. She has a wonderful way with words. You can always feel her passion and energy in her words. This book is no different.

♥ 

Quotes I loved:

"It tickles me to think that from my very first breath, everyone expected me to stop breathing. Against the odds, I surprised everybody. And I must admit that in some of the moments of my life so far, no one has been more taken aback by my own breath than me." (p.13)

"What you don't know is older than you! Sometimes your eyes fail you--sometimes what you see is not what is there." (p.44)

"...a man who only want to bring you down on you back is a man who will want to bring you down in life." (p.51)

"Read everything. The more knowledge you have, the less a man can use you for poppy-show" (p.51)

"Suddenly it dawns on me that, though leaving is hard, this is something I want to do. The choice to go is my decision. For the first time in my life my leaving is something I want to be happening to me. (p.271)

"I go from place to place spouting the gospel of courage and survival. I encourage victims to take hold of destiny and chart it for themselves." (p.274)

I recommend this book for people who:

• enjoy reading memoirs
• enjoy diversity in books
• want to read about queer people of color/women of color
• love Staceyann Chin
• want to read a story that takes place in Jamaica
• love real and honest readings
• want to read about real people and real imperfect families
• enjoy poetry and spoken word
• enjoy reading stories written by black women

Books I Loved

Books about Girls

I want to share some books that I read growing up about real girls. These are books that I loved. These are books that were about life. I've loved these books because they made me laugh, they made me think about life, and they made me appreciate and celebrate myself and the people in my life. Sometimes they made me cry--these were my favorites. I think it's so important to have books that you love at every age. I've made a connection with the girls and women in these books. Because of these books, I'll always have a special place in my heart for reading and I'll always appreciate the way books can change your life.

These are all books I read and loved between the ages of 9 and 18.

• Imani All Mine by Connie Porter
• The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things by Carolyn Mackler
• Rhymes with Witches by Lauren Myracle
• The Skin I'm In by Sharon G. Flake
• Money Hungry by Sharon G. Flake
• Begging For Change by Sharon G. Flake
• Who am I Without Him? By Sharon G. Flake
• Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series by Ann Brashares
• The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kid
• Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
• Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
• Here's to You, Rachel Robinson by Judy Blume
• It's Not the End of the World by Judy Blume
• Just as Long as We're Together by Judy Blume
• Staring Sally J. Freedman as Herself by Judy Blume
• Deenie by Judy Blume
• Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
• Blubber by Judy Blume
• Forever by Judy Blume
• Are You There God? It's Me Margaret by Judy Blume
• Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
• Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Bobbit
• Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
• The Color Purple by Alice Walker
• Chinese Cinderella by Adeline Yen Mah
• The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
• Sold by Patricia McCormick
• Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison
• Fault Line by Janet Tashjian
• My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult 
• Meet Addy: An American Girl by Connie Porter

Just Finished Reading:

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

I really enjoyed this book!I'm so glad I took the time to read it. It's so incredibly moving. There were times when I didn't even want to put the book down. I loved it because it reminded me how important it is to hold on to love. I definitely recommend it to the people out there who stay up at night thinking about life and how we're all connected and are searching for meaning in our actions and stories.


Time for some quotes that I loved!

“She wants to know if I love her, that's all anyone wants from anyone else, not love itself but the knowledge that love is there, like new batteries in the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hall closet.”

----

 “So many people enter and leave your life! Hundreds of thousands of people! You have to keep the door open so they can come in! But it also means you have to let them go!”

----

 “I thought, it's a shame that we have to live, but it's a tragedy that we get to live only one life, because if I'd had two lives, I would have spent one of them with her.”

----

“He promised us that everything would be okay. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be okay. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father.”

----

 “But it was unnecessary.
There would be other nights.
And how can you say I love you to someone you love?
I rolled on my side and fell asleep next to her.
Here is the point of everything I've been trying to tell you, Oskar.
It's always necessary.
I love you,
Grandma”

Day 24

What You're Reading

YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME: SHORT STORIES AND POEMS ABOUT BOYS 

by Sharon G. Flake.

Sharon G. Flake does a phenomenal job of telling the complex and honest stories of young urban life. I've been reading her books since I was in middle school and I've always been able to relate to her characters. One of my favorite books is another collection of her short stories and poems called Who Am I Without Him about girls and their relationships with the boys and men in their lives. When I moved after middle school I had to put the book in storage but as soon as I got my nook, I made sure I bought Who Am I Without Him so that I could read the stories whenever. After downloading it, this book popped up and I knew that this author would not let me down so I bought this one as well and I know now that I made a great decision in doing so. 

What I really enjoy about this book is that it's real. It doesn't just tell the story of one kind of young black male thug because that's not real. This world and the people in it, especially young men, are a lot more complex than that and this book does a great job at telling some of their stories. As I was reading one of the stories, I thought about Jordan Davis and Trayvon Martin and I realize that it is so important that these stories be heard. Check it out! I know it's available at Barnes and Noble!