Self Care Reminder: August 23, 2014

Remember this: It's perfectly fine to remove toxic people from your life. It's okay to walk away from situations and relationships that make you feel anything less than the wonderful and deserving person that you are.

Under no circumstances are you obligated to keep negative and toxic people in you life. You do not owe anyone a relationship. You don't owe friendship to anyone who does not value you. You should not have to be something you're not to make someone else happy--especially when they are negatively impacting your life.

I think that one of the most important things to remember about "toxic people" is that they may not necessarily be bad people and sometimes these people are not always negatively affecting your life. It's important to know yourself and know when you need to take a break or when you need to be selfish with yourself. People's personalities tend to change. Think of the wide range of human emotions. Some people release very harmful and negative energy when they are stressed or overwhelmed or angry. Sometimes they say things that they don't mean. If you love these people, it's important to be there for them always but you have to be very careful not to get hurt in the process. Take breaks when things are uncomfortable for you. If it's not someone you love or feel any attachment to, walk away. You don't even need that stress. It's important to try to avoid negativity that hurts you when you're only try to love someone else.

You deserve the best.

Just one of those days

Have you ever had a day where you just had to tell yourself, "I should've just stayed home" or "I should've just stayed in bed." Yesterday was one of those days for me.

I had a horrible stomach ache and was nauseous for the majority of the day. Left the house without an umbrella on the day that all of April's showers wanted to pour from the sky and missed my bus because I had to go back for it. Missing that bus caused me to miss to my transfer and my nauseous self had to wait in the freezing rain for 20 minutes for the next bus. No seats on the bus. Almost got stuck on the bus. Got to work where I began to feel even more sick and eventually had to leave work to go home early because I did not want to faint or throw up at work. Got soaked on my way home and felt no relief from my stomach pain and nausea until I induced vomiting and threw up the entire contents of my stomach. Throughout my day, I just kept thinking, "I should have stayed in my bed."

However, my day had its small accomplishments and bright moments that I cannot overlook. Getting out of bed was hard to do but I did it. Proud of myself for that. Almost getting stuck on the bus would have usually given me way more anxiety than it did yesterday but I think my focusing on not throwing up made it easier to breathe through so I'm thankful I didn't have a panic attack over that. Before getting on the bus a kind stranger paid for my ginger ale because I apparently left my money at home. So I'm really grateful for that kind stranger. And honestly, throwing up was the best part of my day.

It's so interesting to think about what really makes your day. It really works out when you can find some good in a bad day. That doesn't always happen though and that's okay too. Those are the days when you realize, "I need to treat myself for getting through this shit" and there is nothing wrong with that at all!

Just keep going. One day at a time! :)

Take A Break

Sometimes during our day we forget to stop and take breaks. We get busy. We want to get as much done as we can. We think that we'll fail if we stop. However, it's okay to take breaks. Sometimes we need to let ourselves rest a little. It's important not to overwork ourselves. That's not good four our emotional, physical, and mental health. So when you're taking care of yourself, remember to take breaks.

Depending on your schedule, what you do to take a break may look very different. Here are some examples of what we can do to take breaks.

• Take a nap. If you're working on a schedule or have a deadline, make sure you set an alarm.
• Color. You can find coloring pages by searching through google. Most local dollar stores also have coloring books.
• Watch YouTube videos. Again, if you have a deadline, try not to get lost on the internet.
• Timed visits to your favorite websites. 
• Make a cup of tea or coffee and then sit down and enjoy it
• Blend your favorite ingredients together for a great smoothie or milkshake and then sit down and enjoy it
• Lay down and listen to music for a while
• Play your music as loud as you want and have a personal dance party
• If you find cleaning relaxing and it's not the thing you need to take a break from, then take some time out and clean up a little bit
• Watch your favorite show or movie
• Yoga
• Some gym/workout time
• Take a walk
• Go to the bathroom
• Light your favorite scented candles and take a nice bubble bath or hot shower
• Paint your nails
• Have something sweet. Ice cream, cake, peanut m&ms, etc.
• Have a healthy snack. Maybe turkey bacon wrapped avocados? 
• Call someone special to you and talk to them for a while
• Do something productive that doesn't hold so much pressure. Meaning that it's something you do for yourself, not for a deadline or assignment, and you feel accomplished when it's done. Some examples are making cupcakes/cookies, cleaning/organizing, cooking, or creating a family on the Sims. 
• Write your feelings down
• Visit these cool websites:
• The Quiet Place
• Rainy Mood
• The Nicest Place on the Internet
• Cute Roulette
• The Thoughts Room
• Watch these videos/Listen to these Songs:
• Everything's Gonna Be Okay
• Beautiful Flower
• Private Party
• A Pep Talk from Kid President
• Still I Rise
• Make Positive Affirmations
• Look in the mirror and tell yourself good things. You're going to make it. Believe in you!

Hopefully some of these can help you. Don't forget to take care of yourself today. 

Friendly Reminder

When you're working on yourself, it's important to remember that you shouldn't compare yourself to anyone else. You are your own person and you're working to become the best you that you can be.

You won't be able to get there if you're focused on what anyone else is doing. Everyone has their own truth and we're all different. It's your job to live your truth--not anyone else's.

♥

---

“i am mine.
before i am ever anyone else’s.”

-in, nayyirah waheed

Graduation: December 14, 2013!!

I have some great news! Ready? I am a college graduate!! On the morning of December 14, 2013, I walked across that stage and it symbolized that I've earned my degree! Finally!! It feels so good. I'm so glad that I was able to share that day with some of the most important people in my life.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that I'm done with undergrad. I made it! There were so many times when I wasn't sure if I would ever finish. But I made it. I changed my major a bunch of times, wanted to quit, wanted to transfer, and just give up. Some times it was hard to keep going but I knew that there was a finish line and the only way to get to it was to keep on keeping on. I really made it and this was a day I'll never forget.

I chose the quote "Still I Rise" for my graduation quote because I love the poem and I love Maya Angelou. I really wanted my cap to be a representation of myself. That's why I added the bow as well. I love quotes and I wanted to make sure I used a quote that fit how I was feeling. I'm so happy that I chose this one. It means so much to me.

I've grown so much and I've learned so much about myself and about life during my 3.5 years in school. This chapter of my life is over. It's a little scary but it's also exciting. College brought me so much. So many wonderful people have entered my life and my heart. I have memories and moments that no one can take away from me. I've learned how to take care of myself and how to make me happy. Although there were hard times, I've learned to love myself more and more each day. I'm so thankful for everyone who made my time there so special. I'm also thankful for the people who didn't always make me feel the best because often times, they made me realize that self care and my safe spaces are important. Everyone enters your life for a reason! I have no doubts about that.

I can't wait to see what life brings me next!

What should I do with my life?

“I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”

-Leo C. Rosten 

What do you want to be when you grow up? Who would have every thought that would be such a hard question to answer? People have been asking me that question since I was about 5-years-old. My answer constantly changes but lately I’ve been feeling more pressured than ever to pick a career path. It’s almost time to start applying for grad school. I know what I want to do with my life I just don’t know how to go about it. I want to help people. I want to change their lives--make people feel safe and loved and happy. I want to talk to people. I want to appreciate all the beautiful people and things in this world. And I want to be loud about it. I want to share with people and have people share with me. I want to empower and inspire people. I want to be an advocate for myself and for others. I want to educate people. I also want to hug lots of people. 

This is starting to sound like a children’s book. Which is something else I want to do—write children’s books.

 I’ve been pretty set on finding social work masters programs for graduate school. I’m not 100% sure but that’s what makes the most sense to me right now. In my research, I found that you could possibly be a counselor with a Masters of Social Work. Counseling is along the lines of what I wanted to do during my senior year of high school and when I first got to college. I wanted to be a psychiatrist because I wanted to talk to people so that I could help them. At the same time, I wanted so much more than that so I changed my career paths a few dozen times after that. 

I’m stuck on Social Work programs because they pretty closely match what I want to do. If you take all the mushiness out of dream job description, it pretty much screams something that sounds like social work, community development, non-profit work, or something like that. I just don’t know what but I social work seems like a great place to start. The only thing is, I look at many of the programs and their subprograms and concentrations and nothing really ever jumps out at me. It also just seems like they narrow it down so that you have to do one thing for the rest of your life. Why pay so much money just for one career option? I want many options. I want to do many things. I’m determined to touch many lives and I don’t think a narrowed focus in one field will help me with that but I don’t want to not miss out on any chance I can get to help people and I know in this day and age I need some kind of degree on my wall for me to be allowed to help anyone. I guess I’m looking for something with my exact description but since that won’t happen, I guess I’m feeling pretty lost. That really only means that I need to do some more research. Any suggestions?

Fall Semester = Over

I made it! This semester wasn't as hard on me as my spring semester but I'm glad that I made it through. The last two weeks were pretty rough but it looks like I made it! I'm actually really proud of myself for this semester. It's not like I got straight A's or anything but I really do feel like I'm growing as a person and as a student. I handled my battles this semester very well. I was able to better balance my academics and my social life while still getting the hang of taking care of myself. I got work done. I experienced new things and I put myself out there. I'm trying my best to make sure that I continue to do that.

I'm getting closer and closer to graduation so I'm finding that school demands a lot more of my attention and commitment. I'm learning to prepare myself for life in the real world. It's scary but it's also exciting and frightening.

This past semester, I tried to take advantage of every opportunity that allowed me to do what I love. I spent a lot of time standing up for what I believe in while also building my resume and gaining experiences that will help me later in life when I'm helping others. I've felt really empowered doing what I love and knowing that I'm helping people. By standing up for what I believe in and what I know is good, I've been standing up for people whose voices need to be heard. I know that I still have some more growing to do. I'm still healing and finding myself but I think I'm getting better at this whole "calm and carrying on human" thing. I see what I want to do and I'm taking steps toward that. I'm going to write about some of my experiences from this past semester individually but I wanted to quickly list the amazing things that I feel empowered me this semester.

• Coalition to End Rape Culture
• Fitsmi Internship
• No On 6 Campaign
• Volunteering for the Obama campaign
• LGBT History Month internship
• Community Service

I'm learning more and more that if  focus on what I love without losing sight of the reality of my school work and how it relates, I can keep afloat. I can make a difference. My Women's and Gender Studies major reminds me of the importance of activism and advocacy and I'm finding ways to incorporate those things into my daily life and it's keeping my heart happy. I like that.

 ♥

My year in 2011

I feel like this has been a really good year for me. This year, I've learned to love myself in a way I never have before. I've never been happier. I've never loved myself more. I've learned that acceptance is just what I needed to find love and happiness in my life.

I've definitely had some battles to get through and I think I've survived quite nicely. I think my heart is healing quite wonderfully.

My year started off a little rocky but it's made me stronger.

• My spring semester didn't go to well but I survived


• I started cutting again earlier this year


• I got into a few fights and had some hurdles in a few relationships


• I had a few family problems that were hard to get through

I survived and I'm stronger because I know that these situations don't hold me back from happiness now. Life goes on. This year, especially from summer up until now, I've really learned a lot about myself. I have begun the process of finding and loving myself. It's taken a long time to love me but I now know for sure that I love me some me. Happy points this year:

• I stopped cutting some time in mid-April. I don't see my self going down that road again anytime soon.


• I made some great new friendships


• My Fall 2011 semester went quite well


• I got to go home to NYC this holiday season.


• I got to see some people who I hadn't seen in years and it was wonderful!


• I met a lot of great people this year and I'm thankful for them


• I've stumbled on a lot of great inspiration this year and I think it's what really kept me strong at times when I needed it.


• I'm a junior now and that's really exciting
li>I accepted myself and my body

There have been more but it's hard to put everything into words and on to lists. I'm looking forward to what the new year has to bring. I'll learn and grow from what ever life throws my way. It's nice to reflect. I hope you've had a great year. Be safe. Here's to surviving 2012!!

Live it up.

I have a question. If you’re enjoying yourself and doing what you love while someone sits there and spends the entire time making fun of you, who do you think is having more fun?

Probably the person living it up not trying to put people down. Just a theory.

Live life and be happy. Spread happiness.

Harry Potter Experience

I remember watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for the first time with my mom. She kept rewinding the part when Hagrid knocks down the door and says, "Sorry about that." Everything from that point forward was just amazing to a 9-year-old me. I remember falling in love with all the magic. Platform 93/4, the beautiful train, the chocolate frog, the sorting hat, the great feast, Fluffy...I could go on for ages.

Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire is my favorite movie because that is when I fell in love with Ron Weasley/Rupert Grint but Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone is and always will be my go to happy movie. It's the moment I fell in love with golden trio as they're now called. It's the moment that I understood how special and beautiful and freaking awesome it is to stand up against something bigger than yourself. I understand that more now because I'm older but it was always clear that there was something incredibly special about these movies and about Harry, Ron, and Hermione and Hogwarts.

After seeing Chamber of Secrets, I started reading the books. I started with Prisoner of Azkaban then read the first two and then I read the rest of them in order from Goblet of Fire. I already loved reading but I was never in love with a series like this before. I loved finishing one book and wondering what would happen next. It kept my love of reading alive. I still really love reading. Whenever I get the chance, I read my favorite chapter of the whole series, The Prince's Tale in Deathly Hallows. It never gets old. It never stops being beautiful. It reminds me that people are more than what you see. That is something we forget far too often.

I've learned a lot from the series. I've learned a lot from the books, movies, and characters.

• It's okay to stand up for what you believe in
• It's okay to fight against something bigger than yourself.
• People are different but that's not a reason to hate them.
• Love conquers all
• Love is there even when you don't realize it.
• Magic is love and love is real
• We can stand up to what we're afraid of whether it be spiders or hate
• Never judge a book by it's cover because people are more than what we see.
• When you believe in yourself, you can do a lot of great things.
  
• It's okay to be yourself
• It's not good to have too much power and then use it for bad. You never win that way.
• I am a Free Elf. We are all Free Elves.
  

I think the most important thing to me is that it's okay to stand up and fight against something bigger than yourself. If I think back now, that's what pulled me in. These were little kids, only 11, who knew the importance of right from wrong and did everything in their power to make things right and win the good fight. We're stronger than we think and if we have this courage and bravery, who knows what great things we can accomplish for the good fight.

Harry Potter has been really special to me for more than half of my life now. I wouldn't change it at all. It's a part of who I am. I'm a proud Potterhead. Years 1 to 7 are done on paper and on the big screen but it's not over. It will always be a special part of me. I am sad that there are no more movies or books but it will live on. Like J.K. Rowling said, "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home." I will never forget the love and the magic. When something is this wonderful, it's legacy lives on forever. Happy Birthday J.K. Rowling. Thank you for everything. "All was well. "

another year appraches

My birthday is coming up again. I remember last time at this year. I was so upset and derpressed. Senior year was coming up and I wasn't as comfortable with my body. I was in this constant struggle with myself. Trying to love myself and accept all the things that I didn't like. This problem with being uncomfortable with myself and my body was just ruining my days for me and my summer! It's so hard to have a good time doing anything when you're so focused on how you look at every angle and what people are thinking. It sucks all the life out of you. It took a lot for me to stop doing that but it still happens sometimes. It happens to most people but I try my hardest not to let it really affect me anymore. I can't let it ruin my life anymore. I'm a college girl now, I have a lot to worry about. I'm on my doctor path and I'm on my way to becoming the person that I've always aspired to be. I feel like I'm so close so I can't have all these body image issues holding me back. I think I'm doinw well. I'm going to make it.

his life philosophy

"Laugh at yourself"

quote time.

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. "

--Helen Keller

I've realized that sometimes if you're looking to hard for something you want, you won't realize that it's right infront of you. It's also true that we can't see the other good things in life if we're stuck on the loss of somthing good. I think that if we're patient and understanding, we'll see that things do work out for us. They may not work out the way we want them too but everything happens for a reason and we may not be able to see it right away but that doesn't make it any less meaningful or important. We often fail to see that sometimes the things that we don't think are good for us might actually be the best thing that could ever happen to us. I guess the message is that we should relax more often because if we move too fast, we might miss out on all of life's awesome possibilities and opportunities and lessons and all the other good things. Like Ferris Bueller said, "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Wonka Lessons

Even though I'm a child of the 90's, Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory, a movie from 1971, has been one of my favorite movies for as long as I can remember. I watched it today and realized that this movie has a lot of lessons that we should all be aware of. Besides the lessons sung by the Oompa Loompas that even I thought were obvious back when I was about 7 or so. These are all the other just as important messages that I noticed while watching today:

-The innocence of a child is a force more powerful than the power of grown man and his many oompa loompas working together.

-"There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you'll be free if you truly wish to be." --Willy Wonka

-" A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." --Willy Wonka

-The rain cannot fall forever. Better days will come and even when we're feeling as low as we think we could ever possibly be, we need to always keep hope alive. We can't give up. We have to always remember that sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.

-Chocolate has the power to make people crazy.

-Having little to nothing helps up see what's truly important and those are the things that keep up strong when it seems like we have nothing at all.

There might be more but that's all I can think of at the moment. This movie will always be one of my favorites. It's so deep....

=]

make the most of all the stress?

stress: physical or emotional tension; emphasis; pressure.

People always say that "dealing with stress makes you stonger." It may be true that stress makes us stronger but why does it have to be so hard to handle sometimes. When it makes us feel like there is a mountain on our backs and we feel like giving up because we can't see the point anymore, we need to keep going. We can't give up. I think there just may be a reason for all of our stress problems. I think we go under so much stress so that we can appreciate it more when our lives are going "normal" and things are going "smoothly." Apparently, everything is a lesson and the "stress lesson" teaches us that we can get out of those dark days and that there are better days are ahead. I'd still like to know why is has to be so hard but I understand that it can show us strong and powerful we can be.

"It Always Rains the Hardest on the People Who Deserve the Sun"

Clearly, a lot of stress and hard times means that we're special. Overcoming it and finding a way to smile makes us more powerful that we've ever known ourselves to be before. We can get through the dark days. It's possible. We just have to know that we can never give up hope!


These are somethings I look to when I'm stressed:

and MUSIC =]

It may be silly but they do relax me a lot and I love them.
listen to Faith by Jordin Sparks

"when the sky is darkest, you can see the stars. when you fall the hardest, you find how strong you are. Close your eyes rest a while, it's been a long long day. So come on baby baby, have a little faith."

-Jordin Sparks