realizations.

People don't always make fun of others because they're different. People make fun of others for being themselves.

When you think about that way, it seems as worse as it actually is...I think so anyway. It's sad but it's true. People are usually made fun of for being themselves.

[insert sad animal face here].

deeper than the ocean

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a
poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a
gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his
aunts
That was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with
tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the
girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and
he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him
in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of
white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new
paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left
butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year
his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl
around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And
the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father
never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried
for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a
poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the
question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his
professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never
hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the
year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's
Creed went
And he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
And
his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around
the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at
three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really
all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.

This poem is called, A Person, A Paper, A Promise, written by Dr. Earl Reum.
Isn't it sad? My wish for you all is to understand that the world in which we live is brutal, it's rough, it's confusing, it's real but it can be beautiful. It will give us strength. You are not alone. You 're stronger than you think. You can make it. Please don't give up. You are beautiful. B-E-A-U-tiful. You are worth so much. You're not worthless, you never were, and you never will be. Sometimes things are hard but they'll make you stronger and you'll get past it. You're going to make it. I know you're tired but you can take it. You'll get the energy to make it through. You'll find the light to lead you out of the darkness and your heart will sing and be happy and you'll feel the love. The sadness will go away. You'll accomplish things you can't even imagine right now. Don't be afraid, don't run away. You're amazing and you're going to make it. You deserve the sun and the stars, the moon, the clouds, and all the smiles in the world. You deserve it all. Your life is precious and beautiful. It's wonderful and perfect. You may not see how precious your life is but treasure it. It's a wonderful thing. Please don't hurt it. Don't destroy it. Don't tarnish its beauty. Please! I love you. I'd love for you to be happy. I'd love to see you smile. A beautiful and happy smile. I'd love to see pain and sadness vanished from the world forever. I want all hearts to be healed. I believe that we can work together to achieve that. We can make it happen through love. Love is magical. Hope is magical but they're both real. They're real and we can use them to change the world and make it better place. A place that we deserve and a place that our children and their children deserve. A beautiful place built on love and fed with happiness. It can happen and it will. It's possible if we all believe and know that it's real. Know that a better tomorrow is possible and we can all work towards it. Tell someone how amazing they are. Tell someone that their smile is beautiful and that it warms other people's hearts. Tell someone that they are loved and not alone. Believe it. Understand it and spread the word. Together we can spread love to every heart and the world will be a better place. We can do it. I believe. Do you?

lalalalalalalalalala

I just don't feel like myself anymore. I miss crying. I miss being sad but I love being happy. I love it. I love the confidence that I carry now but sometimes I just think I shouldn't have it, like it doesn't belong to me. I miss all the tears and I miss being in the darkness. I haven't felt like killing myself in what feels like forever but why do I miss that feeling? I should be happy that my smiles are meaningful and that my heart is always happy. Why do I want to be so sad? Why do I crave all the tears? I guess truly, I feel really empty inside now that I'm not as sad all the time. My head is really coudy and I'm just confused about it all. Sometimes, I feel like I need some darkness in my life. Why am I afraid to be so happy?

I want us all to crave happiness and for us to ultimately achieve it. No one should be in the darkenss. Don't be afraid of happiness. Be brave and embrace it. We all need to. I hope that we can all smile meaningful smiles and that our hearts stay happy. I hope that we can all feel better in the light and no longer fear it. I wish we were all fearless and knew how to love ourselves to the point where we could achieve happiness and freedom all the pain. I believe that the sun will one day shine for all of us. I really do.

a letter to a lost girl.

To a sad face and an empty soul,

I would like to send you my deepest and most sincere apologies. There are not enough words to describe how sorry I am. For each second you felt lost, for each of the millions of tears you shed, for each day you felt so so sick and tired, I'm sorry. It was too much for you to handle but I applaud you for each day you found the strength to deal with it all. The tears have stopped and all is calm now my dear. I'm so sorry you tried to find comfort in things that couldn't really help, like sex, drugs, food, and cutting. I wish you were able to see the toll it took on your precious body. I wish you were able to see and appreciate your beauty. It was a beauty unlike anything else in this world and it came from the courage that I knew you always had but you couldn't see. I'm sorry you were so filled with emotions that it had to find its way out through tears and drops of blood. I'm sorry that you felt as if no one understood. You may not have known this but you inspired me, each time you refused to give up, you created more hope, something desperately needed in this world.
You were never stupid, never useless. You were never really lonely. We're never really alone. We're more loved than we know. Love is always there. You were worth more than you could have ever imagined.
The darkness is finally gone sweet angel. I'm sorry you didn't know that you were loved and that things do get better but my wish is that you no longer feel any pain. One day I hope to see your smile. Your precious, beautiful smile.

So, what's the cure?

I am so sick of all the sadness. We can keep running and running but It always finds us. I'm sick of the inequality among people. It's all too much to handle sometimes. I'm sick of the mistreatment of others. Its horrible to see people judge others over simple things like the kind of music they listen to and the way they dress. It's true that people don't see eye to eye on everything but that does not mean that if you disagree on something you can never be friends with that person. It's so wrong! It's not fair. It's just really horrible.


How can people treat others so mean? How can anyone be so horrible to other people even without having had the chance to get to know them. "If you judge people, you have no time to love them" -Mother Teresa.
Why is it so hard for us to listen to what one another and appreciate what others have to say?

Imagine if you were talking and no one could hear it. Imagine all the words you said being thrown into a black hole. It is so depressing. How can we fix it so that everyone's voice can be heard and appreciated?

I'm so sick and tired of people who have the same dreams not getting along at all. So tired of people who want the same thing fighting over who can do it better. If someone want to help you, unless it's absolutely unnecessary, let them. It's okay to be helped sometimes, especially if you want to do something like making a better world.

People can be so evil sometimes and it is so hard for be to be nice and just ignore it. It's hard for me to want to keep writing nice things to people. It's hard for me to keep helping people even when no one says thank you and I'm just left feeling unappreciated. But I do everything in my power to just ignore it and saw "f**k it," I'm not going to stop my nice efforts because of mean people.

So....
If anyone is reading this, you're beautiful and perfect in every way. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not a special person. Be nice to others because we're all precious and it is wrong to harm anything as precious as a thinking and feeling human being. We have to appreciate others more for the sake of the world. When we leave this earth, we should leave a place filled with love and happiness, not pain and despair. We should leave a place where no one is abused and bullied. Where depression is only found in history books. I believe that someday the world will be a better place but we all have to start working on it today.