first day of classes...

First day of college classes went well. That's right, I survived and now I'm 100% sure that I can keep doing this for 4 years! I feel smarter already. My classes are all huge and I thought that was going to bother me but surprisingly, it didn't. I can see myself enjoying them all...maybe not at all moments because of American History but I'm sure I'll enjoy it most of the time. So basically all went well.

I'm living my life for me and right now, I think I'm doing a pretty okay job.
=]

I hope you remember how beautiful you are. People can say all types of things but just know that you are beautiful and you are loved....amazing amounts!

=D

Ready to study :)
first day of classes tomorrow!

goals :)

"It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly."

make a goal. stay focused. be amazing. believe. it works. be patient. things will be okay.

elephant, zebra, girraffe.

"In a world where you can be anything....Be Yourself."

At orientation, my team leader told us not to act like something we're not because we will get put in our place. I really liked what she said. I like being myself. I've been doing mini self-esteem activities with myself so that I can increase the Kiyanna love which is important...very important actually. It makes my day brighter and my smile a lot more. That's why I like to keep things that make represent my personality all around me.

I don't have pictures because I don't currently have my computer but I do want to share with you what I have around me that reminds me of how unique I am. because we're all unique and special in our own perfect way.

This is what I keep around me:

• pictures of my family, one in a frame that was given to me as a gift from a wonderful person who I learned a lot from, she gave it to me in the 8th grade.
• animal stickers and lots of zebra print and a cute little zebra who is always looking at me....
• I also have all the colors I love in my dorm room. I love a lot of colors but I didn't go overboard or anything. It's mostly pink, purple, and a teal color. Those are my favorites at the moment.
• I have my devotional books that are amazing. One is called "every teen girl's little pink book" and the other one is called "always sisters." They are both amazing...quote time, from the little pink book..."All the flowers of tomorrow are in the seeds that we sow today."
• I also have my mickey mouse pajamas. They're not on right now but have them and they're amazing :)

That's all for now. Even though I've almost been here a week, I still need lots. I'm a very sleepy zebra and there's one thing I forgot to mention...With my internet, Rupert Grint is just a click a way and he makes my heart happy. instant stress reliever.

first day of college quote :)

"If the elevator to success stops, take the stairs."

If I wasn't ready, then it's too late now. I'm here and there's no turning back. Moving in went well although there are still a few things that I need. Sleep being one of them which is why I have to keep this pretty short. I miss my mom and my home tons and tons but I have a lovely pink cloth to wipe away the tears that come very frequently, *stops typing...wipes...* I think once I go to sleep and wake up and my mind is occupied, then I'll be find. When your mind is quiet, that's when it all goes spiraling into the unknown. which can be okay sometimes because you start having very intelligent thoughts or you can have really stupid thoughts. At least this washcloth is getting some use. I got 10 for a dollar and they're pink. good deal. good color.

I'm about to start a new book called "Three Cups of Tea." It was on my summer book list for AP Language and Composition and I've been wanting to read it since then so, hopefully I can start it tonight before I go off to dream land.

When I was little, my mother used to tell me, that if I couldn't sleep, I should close my eyes and start a dream. I do it all the time still, mostly when I'm bored and have nothing else to do.Tonight I'll make sure I do it and see what I'll dream of. I'm thinking maybe Ice cream with Rupert Grint. That sounds like a wonderful start!

this is a quote that I put on the wall by my bed.

"a DREAM is a wish that the heart makes"

this is how they see it.

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him."

So now here comes the test.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

I love smiling and I feel good when I cry. I laugh and cry at the end of some of my favorite movies. I didn't cry when I graduated, when that cha[ter of my life ended. I do think I'll cry when I start this new chapter. When I move away to school in like a little over 24 hours. It's so exciting, scary, epic, sad, special, meaningful. I think I'm going to smile and cry and maybe laugh. There are too many emotions involved to keep a straight face or act like it's not effecting me.

I know I said I was giving up on what if's but what if I don't have everything I need, what if I transition badly, what if I get lost? I'll be having to look past the what if's because it's happening. I going away to school and it's happening very very soon. All the what if's will be something to learn from. Every experience is a lesson learned.

Stress and nerves, what an awful combination. I'm too busy to watch tv so no Arthur or Golden girls marathons. All I can do is try to find something to make me laugh while I'm cleaning, packing, and getting ready for this big step. Maybe I'll watch Harry Potter, the very first one, when I'm done packing or while I'm packing. That movie always makes me calm. I love to look back at it especially since they all look so young and I remember how amazing I though the movie was the first time I saw it. I was much younger then and things were simple. It's nice to have simple sometimes. Anything to keep the stress from intoxicating me.

Also, Happy Grand Opening of Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

I hope you smile! =] ♥

feeling pretty

What is it about shopping with your best friends that just makes you feel so happy. This is one of the dresses I got today. Even though trying on clothes can be a pain in the neck, I like it because I get to see what things compliment me and what fits my body bests. I'm more comfortable in things that look nice on me. When I'm more comfortable, I feel better about myself. Which is good. It helps me to love myself more. When I'm in clothes and accessories that I really like, I feel more confident and I smile a bit more. So my excuse to go shopping is to boost my self-esteem. I always felt that shopping brought down my self-esteem but it's really a chance to learn more about me and my body. This must make me seem crazy, shopping to learn and boost my self-esteem but I guess I'm just weird like that. I love it!

Also, I know that first picture is super edited but I was really hot and there was sweat everywhere so I edited to make me look less....oily!

Have a super duper day! :)

i love these!

:)

I don't know when it happened but I'm less than a week away from going off to college. I feel so stupid though. I keep thinking of all the "what could've beens" and "what if I had done this instead of thats" from my senior year. I really shouldn't dwell on them becuase the year is over with. I can't do anything to change it now but there are some things that I wish I could have had you know? I think though that the excitement of starting a new chapter will keep my mind off of some of those things because dwelling on it can't be healthy. I've learned a lesson from it though. Be careful and be brave. It's more fun that was isn't it. You can have fun and still do great and that's the plan for this new chapter. I'll be living it up! =D

I hope you know :)

cool quote =D

"We could all take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism"

Sometimes it's good to listen to criticism if it's meant to help you but if people are only criticizing you to tell you that they don't approve, then it's not worth it and it deserves to be ignored. DENIED...

Random iPod shuffle survey

what you do is, put your iPod on shuffle and answer the questions with a random song title. it's pretty funny

Opening Credits: The nicest kids in town, James Marseden...(hottie), Hairspray
soundtrack

Waking Up: Be without you, Mary J. Blige..sleep?

First Day At School: Jump In, Raven Symone...sounds exciting!

Falling In Love: Don't Mess With My Man, Nivea...hahahahaha, that's cute

Fight Song: Touch It, Busta Rhymes

Prom: Into You, Fabolous...I
wish...not really though

Life’s OK: So Incredible, B5

Mental
Breakdown: Thriller, Michael Jackson...I think that might increase the issue

Driving: Love at First Sight, Mary J. Blige

Flashback: I'm Gonna
Getcha Good, Jonas Brothers (live @ burning up concert)

Getting Back
Together: The power of love, Celine Dion...awwwwww

Birth of Child: Love
is a Battlefield, Pat Benatar

Wedding: I Want to Be Your Man, Roger...I
think that should be a song played before the wedding and the engagement

Final Battle: Will it go around in circles, Orlando Brown...hmmm

Death Scene: Diary, Alicia Keys...love that song

Funeral Song:
Tonight, I Celebrate My Love, Peabo Bryson...ummmm

End Credits: Ice Box,
Omarion

I graduated!!! c/o 2010!

I did it! Kudos to the class of 2010! It feels good to have finally made it through those 4 years of that high school chapter. It was quite the experience.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. I'm so happy all of my fellow class of 2010 graduates! We did it and now we're in the real world. Well we're kind of taking our first steps into the real world but we made it through about 13 years of school, I think we do more. We're strong enough. This is evidence :)

I know that I'm going to miss everyone but I know that I've learned something from all of the people that I've met over the past four years. Everything is a lessoned learned. I've had positive moments in high school and I've learned from them and I've had negative moments and I've learned from them too.

Anywhooo....it was a great experience. I smiled a LOT!...and laughed a lot. I was in the front row and after we went across the stage we had to wait for what felt like a million more rows to walk across the stage so I heard a lot of jokes and we had a bunch of random conversations. It was fun.

Most importantly, I think I'm ready for the next step. There is no turning back now. I have a flippin high school dimploma. I'm a happy zebra. I wish all my fellow classmates the best of luck. I know you'll all do amazingly well. you're freaking fantastic...obviously...we made it!!

watch me...you

picture stolen from weheartit.com. I
could spend hours just looking at the images there. check it out!

I'm posting it here to promote beautiful dreams. We all need a bit of encouragement especially in those times when someone tells you that you're a fool to believe in yourself and that you'll never make. You'll make it. Believe in yourself and then go ahead and reach for the stars. You can do it. If you ever need help, I'm here and I'll support you as much as you can.

You might think that the whole world is waiting for you to fail but...nope, you're not alone and I believe in you and if you believe in yourself then there's two people right there! Two is company!

You're more loved than you can possibly understand. I don't understand it but sometimes I feel it there and I realize that it's real. When I feel that love that I sometimes believe doesn't exsist, I grow a little stronger and I find myself doing things I never thought capable of me.

We all have to believe. Believe in love but mostly in ourselves. When we love ourselves and believe in ourselves and support ourselves, we can find the love and hope around us so much more easily. if that sentence didn't make any sense, I apoligize...I've been out of school. But I hope you do reach for the stars and not let any meanies tell you that you can't.

titled: I know

I love when I find things that I wrote in journals or on the memo pad in my phone. I really love what I have in my phone's memo pad because those are the "laying in bed in the middle of night, realizing something and needing to write it down because it just feels like it's so amazing and important but there's no time to get pen and paper because my contacts aren't in and there's no sense in stumbling around the house at this hour but I must remember it" moments. They're just so thoughtful.

Here is one that I wrote and it's from my phone :)

I know, that when I walk out of my house in the morning, not everyone is going to like me. Not everyone is going to approve of what I'm wearing. Not everyone is going to like what I have to say. I also know that when I walk out of the house in the morning, nothing is going to hold me back from being true to myself because I'm not giving anyone the power to make me feel inferior anymore. I'm not going to let anyone make me feel inadequate or make me feel
uncomfortable in my own skin. I'm taking a stand. I'm going to listen to the music I want to listen to. I'm going to wear the clothes that I want to wear. I'm going to say what I want to say. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I just want to be true to me. I don't want other's opinions of me define my life. What a horrible way to live!!! It's true that people change and change is good sometimes but I think it's sad to change who you are to satisfy what someone
thinks about you. I am standing up for me!

hey you with the face...

everything is gonna be okay.

"something tells me you'll be fine. the strength inside of you is gonna shine."

stardust and sunshine

"There is already, inside of you, all the stardust you need...to do whatever you want to do...to be whatever you want to be!"

-Carrie Fralish

june 4th's reasons to smile

• I wore my Jonas Brothers crown from burger king! I wanted to be a queen today since, after all, it was my last day of high school.
• lots of hugs today. I love hugs and smiles.
• we seniors snaked the halls with the awesome band. it was bittersweet. I've been waiting to do this since my freshman year but it's like this is the last time I'll be walking through these halls. we were passing all these teachers and some were crying and we were hugging our teachers. it was so *sighs* special.
• We had a senior breakfast. there was bacon. it was yummy.
• I was only at school for 2 hours so I went home and took and awesome nap
• after my nap, I watched a bit of arthur and then phineas and ferb. it's hard to believe that I'm an 18 year old going to college in about 16 days isn't it?
• I baked cookies for my brother and sister. they were fantastic.
• I got my jewelry from girlprops.com. everything is just adorable and each item was under $3.
• the umm..."I can't wait to get out of this school" followed by the "I'm going to miss high school" wall posts on facebook were really amusing!

wednesday and thursday's reasons to smile :)

This week is my last week of high school. Amongst the finals and study halls, we had our little dress up days. Tuesday was twister dress up day and you had to wear a color from the board. Wednesday was plaid day...you were supposed to wear plaid. Thursday was life's a beach day and you had to dress up like you were going to the beach, I wore a cool hat and adorable sunglasses. It was fun. People were throwing around beach balls. I didn't get to take pictures because I was too afraid of being hit with a beach ball, they were being thrown pretty violently...

List of reasons to smile from Tuesday to today...sorry, I didn't mean to lie in the title :)

• tuesday we played twister during lunch and in my psychology class. http://tweetphoto.com/25084949 want to see what it's like when boys who are very comfortable with their sexuality get together and play twister? click that link. it was so funny!
• on wednesday, we played musical chair in the cafeteria, I got pretty far too until these two boys like attacked me for a chair. it was a lot of fun. In all the musical chairs chaos, they also played twister and duck duck goose. pretty freaking awesome.
• thursday I finished all of my finals!
• we did chalk drawings. it just rained not too long ago so I bet it's gone but it was a lot of fun.
• pretty much the entire class got together during our yearbook signing party and watched the senior dvd, which I'm in and it's kind of awkward but the rest of it was good. I like watching all those memories.
• I danced a bit on each of the days. I always have fun dancing, makes me happy.
• Because I really didn't have any homework, I had a few times this week to just relax and think about lots of things and emotions. I really needed it. It was really healthy.
• everybody is just so happy, it makes me smile.
• my health science teacher, who I have had for the past 4 years, got our first period class a cake to eat when we were done taking out final. I thought it was so sweet of her. The cake was yummy too! I'm going to miss her.
• I watched arthur today and yesterday. Arthur always makes me happy.
  
  
  

It's been a fun week so far. doors are begining to close and new doors are opening. It's so exciting but sad. I think I'm ready.

we have good power

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any."

-- Alice Walker

When we don't believe in ourselves, things tend to go way down hill. We're stronger than we think and we're capable of so many things if we put our mind to it and put our heart in it. All the power we need is there we just have to take the time and find it within ourselves. Once you believe in yourself, you'll always be a winner.

make me smile gorgeous man across the pond.

formspring.me

Ask random questions! =] <3 http://formspring.me/kiyannashanay

I just gotta make it

I was free from a monster for a while. I didn't have to put up with the drama that comes along but I think I know how to handle it better. I just hope it's possible for me to handle the drama since the monster hears things the way he wants to here them. Sometimes it makes me seem as if it's all going to be impossible but what I really need to realize is that this helps me to see that i'm possible.

We'll just have to see how it all works out. I'm growing and hopefully, I've learned from my experiences with the monster last year and hopefully I've learned enough to know that it's now something I should take personally. It's an issue within him.

I'm fighting my best to be the best ♥Kiyanna Shanay♥ that I can be and I'm in no position right now to let anyone get in the way of that. Not now. It is not the time.