last post of the 2010

First, I have to say that I hope everyone has a safe New Year's celebration. New Year's Eve is a big family day for us because my grandmother died on New Year's Eve 8 years ago so we always make sure that we're not gloomy on this day. So far, so good. Blasting music, bonfire, dancing, laughs. It's good.

I'll have to say that this year has had a lot of difficult bumps but apparently, I made it. I had a lot of happy moments too. I enjoyed starting college and learning something new. New experiences to share and learn from. I've learned a lot about myself which I hope that I can apply to my life for a very long time. I changed majors so I'll be in a totally new field next year.

Next year I hope to smile a little more and listen to my body better. I hope to hug a lot more and take pictures. My goal every year is to be happy but I think I've realized that it can't be a yearly goal. It's a daily fight but it's worth it every day.

love this

♥ pikkers

secret

keep fighting against sexual assault. pass it on.

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

quick thought

Love yourself for you. Just make sure you know yourself first.

serious face

quotetastic pictures

I really love the ones from my favorite Christmas movie that I have yet to see this year!

favorite Christmas song :)

It's Christmas!

Merry Love Day. ♥

I love this time of year. Sometimes holidays are hard and stressful but at the end of the day, it's all about love and understanding that it's there. When you don't have money or all the other fancy things in the Christmas commercials, you can count on love. It might sound crazy but it's the only thing that is always there. Love is always on your side. Look at the bigger picture.

There are a lot of love stories on right now. My mom and I had to choose between Titanic, Pride & Prejudice, and Vicki Christina Barcelona. We chose Titanic♥. Right now, Jack and Rose are flying and making out into the horizon and it is warming my heart in so many ways. I love this movie! It's so beautiful. Later on I'll probably watch Pride & Prejudice or maybe I'll be lucky enough to catch the Blind Side on TV again. I began watching it last night and started crying before it was 15 minutes in. I love my sappy movies! It feels good to let some tears out!

Merry Love Day, I hope it was wonderful for you.

It's not as bad as it seems.

The stars were amazing last night. I can normally see the stars outside of my house but last night, it was absolutely phenomenal! It was very relaxing. I've been worrying about so many things lately and I even hit rock bottom a few days ago. It was really bad. I didn't know if I was going to be able to come all the way back and stay there for a healthy amount of time.

So far, I think I'm doing well and I really have my mommy to thank for that. When she calms me down and saves me from my downfall of the moment, it really lasts for a while. Then I saw the stars. I saw how bright they were and how it almost looked magical. I really love magic. I was in complete awe. It was so beautiful! I hope it's an image that stays because it makes my heart happy. I should be happy for Christmas and I'm excited about it. Santa Claus is coming to town but love is already here and it isn't going anywhere.

happy song

The Family Stone

It's the most wonderful time of the year! My favorite Christmas movies are on and I love it! I haven't seen my absolute favorite yet but I'm waiting. My number two favorite is The Family Stone. Luke Wilson :) Brightened my day. I'm not doing much since the semester is over so watching movies has taken up a lot of my time.

I love this movie because their family is just so cute and although they had their dysfunctional moments, there was so much love between them! And I really enjoy seeing so much of Luke Wilson. That's always nice.

Sex, Stereotypes and Beauty: The ABCs and Ds of Commercial Images of Women - Flash Presentation

Click this! It's very informative and thought provoking. I've seen a lot of these pictures before in my Human Sexual Behavior class so that means that the messages and images are spreading. Keep it going!

Sex, Stereotypes and Beauty: The ABCs and Ds of Commercial Images of Women - Flash Presentation

breathe easy

Whoa. I think that sums up my Fall semester. I thought it was going to kill me but look at me. I'm here. I survived chemistry and I did better than I thought. My final grade was a "B" which is what I was fighting for so I'm really happy about it. I had a B+ before the final exam but apparently, a B+ just was not meant to be. I'm okay with that. That class was pretty hard. Thank God for the grading scale!

While up super late studying for my Female Experience in America class, I found this wonderful line in one of the books that I found very interesting:

"...girls who hate their bodies do not make good decisions about partners, or about the kind of sexual activity that is in their best interest. Because they want to be wanted so much, they are susceptible to manipulation, to flattery, even to abuse. It [body angst] makes the worst forms of sexual flattery acceptable, which explains why some girls feel ambivalent about sexual harassment and do not know how to respond."

-Joan Jacobs Brumberg's The Body Project

This is so true! Body hate is our biggest enemy and it is hurting us physically and mentally. Why do we do it so often. I do it too sometimes but it makes me sick when I hear people go on and on about how much they hate their bodies, failing to find a single good thing about it.

I admit that I do need to treat my body a lot better but there are still things that I love about it.

My body is the only one I'll ever have.

I need to listen to it a lot more and understand it when it is trying to tell me something.

My body has been with me since day 1, it's always with me which is why I should probably begin to be a better friend to it.

I love my smile because it is my connection to the past.

I love my eyes because I share them with my beautiful family. Beautiful big tired eyes :)

I love my short fingers because how else would I be able to wear all the cute little rings that I love

I love my mind, most of the time, because it's pretty darn powerful....blessing and a curse.

I think I could on especially after I start to listen to my body more and treat it better.

Body love is possible. I can do it and I thought it was going to be hard...like Chemistry, but I survived.

it's time to smile

Vagina Monologues

make a happy face?

peace. love. unity. respect.

The future depends on us. Our children and their children can be born into a world of love and happiness or they can be born into a world of hate and despair.



What has happened to the things we strive for? We're starting to stray away from the importance of education and self-esteem and overall happiness. We can get so much out of life if we appreciate our surroundings, people and things. We are loving creatures. We need love to survive. I that people forget about everything that love means. Love and belonging includes loving yourself(body, soul, and mind), accepting others for themselves, loving others, respecting yourself and others....it's a big deal and it's so lacking in this world right now. There is nothing more heartbreaking to me than the lack of love and respect in the world we live in.



It starts with us and it ends with us. What's holding us back? It's not fair to the future that we ignore the love and respect that is supposed to be uniting this world. Step out of the box and love one another and yourself so we can all be happy.

I love you, whoever you are.♥

Because I am a queen....

Keep your head up and don't forget to share your beautiful smile with the world. Love what you see because your body is the only one you will ever have. Love it. Respect it. ♥

healing princess

how long have I known this? I live my life for me and it is far too precious to be filled with negativity. I shouldn't feel emotionally drained from trying to make it through the day. There are so many things bigger in this world than that. I'm tired about worrying so much about stupid little things. It's tearing my world apart from the inside out and it really shouldn't. So, again, I vow to respect myself and think happy thoughts. I'm going to do what makes me happy. I'm going to be myself.

I'm proud of the things I love like Harry Potter, Rupert Grint, All things Disney, coloring, sleeping, family, smiles, sappy movies, etc....I just really shouldn't be fighting to defend who I am. I love me and I think it's time to stop caring about the people who don't accept me for who I am.

I LOVE ME. sorry if you don't. I can't get ahead trying to please everyone. it just won't work.

chemistry.

I am currently sitting in the library bending over backwards to finish up my chemistry homework. It's really not that intense but I feel like I could be doing something a lot more exciting. I recently changed my major to a double major in Mass Communications and Women and Gender Studies. I'm really excited about that so Chemistry is the absolute farthest thing from my mind. blahhh....I'm waiting to understand it so while I wait....I stumble over to blogger, where the world is at peace in this hectic times square of a tutoring lab. Last minute homework, people studying for exams later on this week. Busy busy bees everywhere.


Have you ever had one of those days when you had to debate with yourself on whether or not today was a good day? I think my problem today was is that after all these years, I still don't feel like I fit in. I think my problem today was my mind was going all over the place because of all the things I'm wishing for right now. I think it would be a lot better if I stayed grounded and stayed in this place right here.

It's hard to think that my life isn't a disney movie even though I am a princess. ♥

Things I love about this time of year....

• Family...they're always important but I love the traditions that take place during this time. They make me so happy.
  
• smiles
• the weather! I love the cold and if I'm in the right place, I love the snow!
  
• The food :)
• The toy commercials and the giant toy book from Toys 'R' Us. I get so excited even though I can't play with them unless my beautiful siblings get them.
• The Kleenex commercials! so cute!
• The lights and the decorations
• the ornaments
• the use of imagination
• cookies for Santa!
• the Christmas specials and movies...Love Actually
• Harry Potter
• mittens and hats and winter coats..if need apply and hopefully, need applies.
  
• finals.....wait ummm should that be there?
• bonfires and smores
• hot chocolate
• candy canes
• Thinking about being at disney world with all the magic

It's such a wonderful time! I just saw a Kleenex commercials and was noticing the crazy amount of toy commercials so I decided to do a happy little rant about it.

Keep your hearts happy out there!

happy song this week :)

realizations.

People don't always make fun of others because they're different. People make fun of others for being themselves.

When you think about that way, it seems as worse as it actually is...I think so anyway. It's sad but it's true. People are usually made fun of for being themselves.

[insert sad animal face here].

The Beauty of a Woman

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years."

happy Friday.

It's a beautiful fall day. It finally feels like my favorite time of day. Happy Friday! Here's some inspiration from a truly beautiful and amazing woman. Dr. Maya Angelou

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meetings of my thighs?

I am beautiful♥

I am BEAUTIFUL.

I was made this way. I struggle to see it but I know it's there. I can no longer afford to listen to the lies. I can't be put down anymore. I'm way too beautiful and precious for that.

I hope you know that you're beautiful and precious too.

I made it.

I cried. I was alone. I smiled. I fought. I climbed. I fell. I shed blood. I got up. I cried. I was happy. I was sad. I loved me. I hated me. I believed in the impossible. I took crap for nothing. I was bullied. I made it out. I was happy. I felt alone. I felt loved. I felt confused. I loved myself. I hated myself. I cried. I smiled. I cried. Does that make me weaker? Not at all. Pain may hurt but it's a sign that you're alive. I'm stronger because I'm ALIVE. ♥

Tunnel of Opression

What it is a series of skits. It was dark, deep, serious, heartbreaking, there were endless was to describe. It is meant to bring awareness to the what really happens. Events that take place in the world that hurt so many people. I really loved it because it showed me that people actually care. Even though it was so intense, I felt like I didn't have to feel so alone anymore because there are people who actually believe that this is an issue that needs to be addressed. I loved that it was serious because I've seen so many people turn issues like these into jokes and it's not funny at all.

• The first skit was about domestic violence.It was in a really small area. I felt like I was there and seeing it and a part of it. It was really life-like
• There was one where a girl's roommate's where making fun of her because of her weight. I easily related to that. It was so sad. They were saying things like "I only want to take her because guys will want to dance with me because I look better by comparison" and things like "she looks like a pregnant whale." It was crazy.
• There was an Autistic student being made fun of. It was so sad. In this particular skit, I was right behind him and I wanted to hug him.
  

It was wonderful. eye-opening. It just makes me want to take action. We can't judge people because we don't know what they're going through. Life is hard. We don't need to be hurt by others on top of it all. We NEED to be respectful!

Love is louder. This world is brutal enough as it is. The least we can do is make sure that love is all around and that we respect each other.

you with the pretty face, smile :)

pictures are from weheartit.com. I love looking through them. They make me smile. A chain reaction?

smiling song this week :)

Love is on its way.

I smiled today.

I hope you did too :) ♥

Why must shopping feel so good? I feel better knowing that I'm getting some good deals and everything looks so cute!

There was a special 20% off discount at Old Navy. You had to scream as loud as possible at the register to get your discount. Everything I got was a really decent price so I was excited to get an extra few bucks off.

There are always those few items that make you feel good about shopping. Those things that take away the pain from seeing something that you really want that is unfortunately out of your price range or trying on something that doesn't quite fit the way you would like it to. Today for me, those items were, these cute mary jane slipper/socks, a vintage purse, and my reusable coffee cup from Old Navy.

What also made it so much better was being with my beautiful mommy and my brother and sister. It's nice to be around someone who knows you so well. I think I was really needing that lately. I spent the past two nights in a hotel with her which was the first time I didn't sleep in my dorm room. It was so weird. My poor room and my stuffed animals were all alone for the night but I think that my room will get over it. I'm not so sure about Adam the giraffe and Connie Sparks the zebra. It feels good to feel so at home but it was slightly ruined by homework. Ehhhh....the semester is coming to a close so I'm starting to get really excited.

Lots of reasons to smile today. My heart is happy. Is yours? I sure hope so, Beautiful!

It hurts everyone.

It hurts the little girl that has to sit between her two angry parents on the long ride home.
It hurts the little girl when her dad takes out his anger on her.
It hurts when the parents and make a huge horrible public display of their "anger" in the middle of the gas station while the little girls cry because of how much it hurts.

It hurts everyone. Love is Louder. Hate and anger hurts too much. When the cycle end?

LUFF YEW.

LUVV YUUU

Ask me anything

you're amazing

Happy Monday!

You shouldn't start a day with the feeling that it's going to be a bad day. I usually just assume that Mondays will be horrible and long because I usually have a really busy day.

Today caught me by surprise however. My morning class was canceled because our TA never showed up. We waiting the required 15 minutes and then an extra 2 minutes to give him the benefit of the doubt and then we ran out of there like it was a crime scene. It felt so good not to spend an hour or so discussing chemistry and doing our weekly quiz. I went back to my room and got all comfy before my Chemistry lecture which felt shorter today then it usually does. My Chem professor also decided to play the song Free Fallin' before class began. I delightfully sang along. I then had more time to relax in my room. The dining hall had yummy chicken salad that I love. It tastes so good, makes my day every time. Now I have more time to relax, blog, and get some work done. This is the best Monday I've had in a while.

I will never again underestimate the power of a brand new day. I guess there can always be beauty everywhere you look. Today it was found in the form of relaxing and breathing room throughout the day. WONDERFUL!

inspirational song this week :)

"When the sky is darkest, you can see the stars."

love is louder

End bullying. There is no excuse to hurt people or to push them to the edge of death with endless taunting, jeers, or rude and demeaning remarks. It's not fair. This cycle that is ending countless, precious lives needs to stop! How many tears must flow, lives lost, blood shed, before the world sees that action needs to be taken? How long before society sees that love is louder than hate. Love is louder than pain. There is never an excuse to hurt people. I'll never understand why anyone thinks it's okay It blows my mind when ever I think about it but I know that's there will be a day when this horrible cycle ends and love can be heard through all the confusion and pain. We have to take baby steps but there is no doubt that if we work together and work on the love, we can it "Don't give up on love, just hold on."

you can heal the world with your mind

Now we're moving from the darkness into the light
This is the defining moment of our lives

♥

'Cause you're beautiful like a flower
More valuable than a diamond
You are powerful like a fire
You can heal the world with your mind

♥

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Maya Angelou

we are all fighting.

I got into a wonderful conversation with some girls on the floor. People fight so hard to be where they are. That's why there is no room to judge. You don't know what people are going through. You don't know what they're fighting or how hard. You can't always tell how hard someone is fighting just by looking at them. That's why we all need to love and respect each other. Happiness and love are some of the strongest forces on this earth and even though you may not see it all the time, it's always there. Always at work and never failing.

We're fighting but that doesn't mean we're weak. We're stronger with every moment. If you're at the bottom then there's only up from there. "Life's a climb but the view is great."

In addition, I got interviewed for fitsmi.com and their site for moms...check it out please!

I've fallen down the steps...

In my snuggie. My tummy hurts. I haven't gotten any work done today yet..... I'm confused and the world is spinning around me. I feel like I've fallen backwards and now I'm so far off track that I don't know if I can see my happiness path anymore. I'm just in some sort of funk. Hopefully it doesn't last more than a day. I have two major exams this week and I really need to focus so I can do well. I can't stay focused on all of these emotions. I just wish I had someone to talk to. I feel like I can't talk to any of the people I usually count on because I feel like I'm always disappointing people and when they say I'm not, I just feel like they're keeping the truth from me. So I'm just going to avoid that and try to ride this one out on my own. I'll figure it out. I think I'll watch a sappy movie and then maybe I'll repair myself. Time heals all wounds.

walk a mile in her shoes♥

I was lucky enough to experience something truly wonderful today! October is domestic violence awareness month. Here at USF, over a hundred REAL men walked in heels to raise awareness for the victims and survivors of sexual assault and rape. The event is called walk a mile in her shoes. What's better than guys in heels? Guys in heels who care about women and are willing to pledge to respect women. They took a beautiful pledge to respect women, to always have consent, and to overall know that REAL men listen, ask, and always get consent.

There is no excuse for abuse. Voices need to be heard. Every step we take for awareness allows one silenced voice to be heard. Rape hurts everyone. It was amazing to see how many men care to make a difference. It was amazing to see how many people in general care and are willing to make a difference.

It exemplifies something that I'm always saying, when we believe in ourselves, we're making the world a better place just by living in it.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=444367204092&set=a.444367069092.241956.131614279092#!/LetsBeREAL

http://www.walkamileinhershoes.org

this makes me smile :)

"If God had a refrigerator,
Your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet,
Your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring,
And a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk,
He’ll listen.
He can live anywhere in the Universe,
And he chose your heart.
What about the Christmas gift
He sent you in Bethlehem,
Not to mention that Friday at Calvary?
Face it friend, He’s crazy about you."

to thine own self....♥