Changes in Self-Care

Self-care is so important! It's how we take care of ourselves and taking care of ourselves is how we continue to grow and thrive. We face a lot of stress on a daily basis. On some days more than others but stress is a reality and self-care allows us to cope with that stress and sometimes recover from the damage that stress can have on us.

What I learned recently and what I wish I knew before I thought I was broken is that sometimes there are shifts and changes in your self-care. I was finding that some of the things I was doing for self-care no longer interested me. Some of them, like writing, were unfortunately starting to feel more like work. Some of them just aren't convenient for me at the moment like retail therapy. I love it but I need to be saving so it's not the best option for me. Some things became too time consuming like scrap-booking and I felt it was using up some of the creative energy that I could have been putting towards school.

What I was doing for self-care didn't make me feel as good as it used too and I got pretty worried. Thankfully all of my classes this semester have been covering self-care in great depth and I've learned even more about self-care. It's okay if you find that activities or practices that you once enjoyed no longer help you relax or relieve some stress. That just means it might be times to switch things up! Maybe you need to slow it down or speed things up. It's really trial and error.

I used my month long holiday break from school to catch up on some self care because as my Fall semester progressed, it was harder for me to do the self-care activities that I usually enjoyed when I had the time like taking walks or kickboxing. I put on lipstick and dressed up for self-care on days and weeks that were really busy and I had a lot of assignments due. I felt in would increase my productivity too. I haven't don't much research on the link between lipstick and productivity but I did feel cute and I got my work done!

 I went a little overboard in planning self-care activites for my break. I somehow obtained enough yarn for a year of craft projects, I got a few coloring books,  made a list of shows to watch and catch up on, and my book collection grew 2 sizes. However, life is unpredictable and I mostly slept and colored. I also made one very cute scarf and played The Sims 4 A LOT.

Here is a list of some fun self-care ideas:

• taking a walk
• enjoying a hot cup of tea or coffee
• Zumba
• Kickboxing
• Cooking
• scrapbooking
• bubble baths/hot showers
• shopping
• crafting
• crocheting/knitting
• painting
• coloring
• turn off your computer/phone and do something mindless for 30 minutes
• meditation
• yoga
• put on some makeup
• wear your favorite anything
• write down some of the things your thankful for
• watch your favorite movie/show
• call someone you love or care about
• listen to music
• create a new recipe
• volunteer/sign up for some community service
• play your favorite game
• organize something

There are so many unique ways to take care of ourselves and sometimes we need to switch things up because what we're used to is not what may help or be fitting at the time. It's important that we take care of ourselves. Do what feels right for you!

2015 Happiness Jar Reflection

This is my second year keeping a happiness jar. I loved it so much last year that I had to do it again and I plan on doing it next year as well. I didn't have dates on my memories last year so I made sure I did that this year. There were still some memories that I read and had to think about for a minute because I did not remember them happening at all. Next year I'm going to try to keep up with it better. Between maybe June and December I forgot to add memories so a few weeks ago I tried to remember every happy "jar-worthy" memory and add it to the jar. Despite forgetting about the jar for months at a time, I really love this activity.

I love that it's given me two great traditions. I love decorating my jar at the beginning of the year and I love sitting in my pajamas on New Year's Eve reading the moments from the year that brought me joy and reflecting on what I've learned over the past year. It's really nice.

One of the challenges of reading what I've put in the jar is reading and remembering great moments with people you are no longer on great terms with. This year I learned the importance of moving on. I found a 3 year old tweet today in my timehop that I think it just as relevant today, "at 11:59, keep the good and let go of the bad." Sometimes people are just passing through our lives but it doesn't mean that the shared moments aren't' memorable or that the lessons you've learned from them aren't significant.

Taking the time to reflect is what makes all the difference in how we're able to move on from certain moments. Take the time to love yourself and understand how the people in your life and your experiences are impacting your life and your energy. You are so deserving of love! I love that this activity gives me a chance to remember what good energy I've had around me during the year. My mind already does a great job at keeping bad memories so I'm thankful for a place to keep the good...in print too!

Overall I think I had a pretty good year. Life is full of surprises and challenges but I think I've really grown this year. I've learned to love myself in ways that I haven't before. There have been so many days when I've been so happy to be here and so appreciative of life and the people I love. I hope I can continue to bring this self love into the next year. I've felt more beautiful this entire year (life 98% of the time) and that's been so important for me. I'm so glad to have had another year of life and lessons, good and bad, and I'm excited to see what 2016 will bring.

I hope that 2016 brings you joy, happiness, healing, and anything else you need or desire. Good Luck! Sending you love and good wishes!

Black Girl Magic: Emmys Edition

I've always loves award shows because I think it's so inspiring to see people being awarded for their work. I love seeing people so proud of themselves and their peers. It's even more special when there a beautiful women who look like me. Beautiful shades of gorgeous brown skin, amazing women making history. So many women supporting each other. Looking beautiful on the red carpet and basking in excellence! May all the Black Girl Magic from that night continue to inspire us.

---

The hugs felt around the world

 Viola Davis and her incredible acceptance speech

“'In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me, over that line. But I can’t see to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.’

That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s. And let me tell you something: The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there. So here’s to all the writers, the awesome people that are Ben Sherwood, Paul Lee, Peter Nowalk, Shonda Rhimes, people who have redefined what it means to be beautiful, to be sexy, to be a leading woman, to be black. And to the Taraji P. Hensons, the Kerry Washingtons, the Halle Berrys, the Nicole Beharies, the Meagan Goods, to Gabrielle Union: Thank you for taking us over that line. Thank you to the Television Academy. Thank you.”

♥

Regina King's win and speech

Uzo Aduba's win and speech

And of course, the red carpet

 I hope that we continue to see more and more black girl magic. At award shows, in television and movies, in books, and anywhere and everywhere else!

---

 

"The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity." 

-Viola Davis

Quote of the day:

 

Born and Made

Carol's Daughter and I Am That Girl have joined forces to create the #BornandMade campaign to empower women and inspire them to celebrate who they are and the person they feel they were always meant to be. I saw a few of the pictures people made in support of the campaign and I fell in love! Especially since I am Karol's daughter and this campaign was created by the company Carol's Daughters. I love it! You can make them at BornandMade.com.

I chose the word hope because I think it describes me quite well. I even have the word "hope" tattooed on my body. Hope to me is the promise of a beautiful tomorrow. I believe in a lot of things and I think that's why this word means so much to me. There's a lot of strength and courage in believing in yourself. To me, hope looks and feels like not giving up. Like my tattoo, it's a reminder that despite the circumstances, I'm going to keep on soaring.

I hope this campaign inspires even more women to celebrate themselves.
Be true to the person you see in the mirror. Love them. Learn more about them, their desires and passions. Work with them to create a more beautiful tomorrow. Take it one day at a time!

brown girl dreaming

Brown Girl Dreaming 

by Jacqueline Woodson

I really enjoyed this book! Jacqueline Woodson tells her childhood stories through free verse. It's so motivating and so inspirational. From the very beginning, brown girl dreaming perfectly captures the complicated beauty and strength and complexity of familial ties and the stories that come along with them. My absolute favorite part of reading this was feeling the determination of this young girl. This was a true reminder that we can achieve our childhood dreams. We all have the ability to follow our dreams to the best of our abilities despite our age, despite any family objections, and despite any perceived unlikeliness, our dreams are worth chasing. 

I also love that these childhood experiences and these stories are filled with so much perspective. I think that we all have our own way of viewing the world because we're all shaped by our own personal stories and experiences but there are similarities that bring us together and help us relate with complete strangers. Even though I wasn't a young girl growing up in Greenville, South Carolina in 1963 or in Bushwick in 1969, these stories still resonate with me. 

Just like in life, there are moments throughout her childhood that make us think our personal experiences and relationships with family, love, doubt, friendships, music, community/neighborhoods, birth, death, and so much more. It really was a great read. 

Recommended for

• all brown girls ready to chase a dream 
• all readers, especially middle schoolers
• anyone looking for stories about moving 
• City girls
• Southern girls
• people who love to write
•  People who believe in themselves, are learning to believe in themselves, want to learn how to believe in themselves. 
• Anyone who is a big fan of reading stories about people living through history/historical moments
• anyone who has ever thought that they were a little different but believed in themselves anyway

____
 
Favorite Parts & Quotes 

"You'll face in your life someday,
my mother will tell us
over and over again.
A moment when you walk into a room and 
no one there is like you." 


"Even the silence
has a story to tell you.
Just listen. Listen."


"The revolution is always going to be happening.
I want to write this down, that the revolution is like
a merry go round, history is always being made somewhere. 
And maybe for a short time,
we're apart of that history. And then the ride stops
and our turn is over[...]
My name is Jacqueline Woodson
and I am ready for the ride."


"I believe in one day and someday and this
perfect moment called Now."

 
"When there are many worlds, love can wrap itself 
around you, say, Don't cry. Say, You are as good as anyone
Say, Keep remembering me. And you know, even as the world explodes
around you--that you are loved..." 

-Jacqueline Woodson

Thank you, Jacqueline Woodson, for your beautiful words!  

Inspirational Sources May Vary

 As I sit here watching MasterChef and I think about how much I love competition shows like this. This one is only one of my favorites. I'm also a big fan of Top Chef, Project Runway, Chopped, Great Food Truck Race, and so many others. I love television programs that showcase people working so hard to achieve or gain better access to their life goals and dreams. I think these shows are so inspirational. They can be such a big source of motivation as well. A lot of times, we see people drop so much to go to where these shows are filmed and stay there for weeks at a time because they so strongly believe in following their dreams. It's perfect example of putting "faith over fear." 

I think we should aspire to chase our dreams. In a perfect world, wouldn't it be great if we were all able to drop everything to chase our dreams. In a perfect world, we probably wouldn't have anything standing in our way. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world. However, there is so much beauty in the process of baby steps and slowly turning our dreams into reality. Sometimes beautiful and amazing things take time. We cannot make things happen overnight, but we cannot let the size of our dreams deter us from taking that first brave step.

So I watch these shows because I think it's so cool to see hard work turn into something beautiful and see people proud of what they've made. It's cool to watch people overcome failures and work through losses and challenges. They're people like us. We can identify with their stories and they motivate us to chase our own dreams. It's all very cool!

23.

August 6, 2015 was my birthday. I turned 23 years old. The year of Jordan.

I'm 23 and beautiful. I feel more beautiful with each passing day.

I'm 23 and full of dreams. I love being productive. I'm pretty ambitious but I often let slight laziness procrastination get the best of me. It's like a sickness. Crossing the bridge from my procrastinating ways keeps holding me back.

I'm 23 and a summer baby who cannot take this heat anymore. Give me Fall at least! It's too damn hot and I miss my leggings, boots, and scarves. Give me pumpkin flavored everything and proper hot tea and coffee weather. Please!

I'm 23 and a firm believer in retail therapy. How could anything that feels so good possibly be bad? My bank account knows the answer to this. I'm still looking.

I'm 23 and there are so many things that I wish were happening in my life right now but I'm only human and life requires patience. I don't have all the answers. I believe that it's possible that the universe is unfolding as it should.

I'm 23 and another year can mean so many things. I'm entering this year with incredible and unapologetic self love. I'm starting this year believing in myself. I'm starting this year with a  love and sweetness that I need to spread. I'm praying for another year of love, learning, discovery, excitement, accomplishments, inevitable failures and hurdles and the lessons that come with them, plus so much more.

I'm 23 and so thankful to have seen another year and I'm so excited to see what this year will bring.

Quote of the day:

"i found god in myself

and i loved her

i loved her fiercely."

- Ntozake Shange

Weekend Reminder

I’m alive, I’ve survived, and that matters. I matter. 

When you wake up, remember this. You've survived to see a brand new day. Your life matters.

At the end of that day you thought would be the most difficult and impossible day of your life, remember this. It didn't last forever and you made it over this struggle. You'll make it through the next one. You've survived and that matters. You matter. 

Final exams, in between jobs, feeling lost or tired, no one can take away the fact that you're here and your life matters always.   

Remember these words. Keep them stored away for those moments that you need them most. 

You're alive and that matters. You've survived this and that matters. You matter. Your life matters. 

Be a Hummingbird

Listen as the late Wangari Maathai tells the tale of a hummingbird who, despite its small size, tries its best to make a difference. 



We may often think that we are insignificant or that we are not enough. It doesn't matter how small we may feel, we can make a difference. We still have in us the power to do the best that we can. Never stop trying to do your best.

Positive Affirmation: I will be a hummingbird. I will do the best that I can.

Happy Friday

Here's some great music to get you into the good spirit of the weekend! I hope you have a wonderful and safe weekend!




Quote of the Day:

 “Love is the only thing that can touch our soul and change our heart."

-Lailah Gifty Akita