Changes in Self-Care

Self-care is so important! It's how we take care of ourselves and taking care of ourselves is how we continue to grow and thrive. We face a lot of stress on a daily basis. On some days more than others but stress is a reality and self-care allows us to cope with that stress and sometimes recover from the damage that stress can have on us.

What I learned recently and what I wish I knew before I thought I was broken is that sometimes there are shifts and changes in your self-care. I was finding that some of the things I was doing for self-care no longer interested me. Some of them, like writing, were unfortunately starting to feel more like work. Some of them just aren't convenient for me at the moment like retail therapy. I love it but I need to be saving so it's not the best option for me. Some things became too time consuming like scrap-booking and I felt it was using up some of the creative energy that I could have been putting towards school.

What I was doing for self-care didn't make me feel as good as it used too and I got pretty worried. Thankfully all of my classes this semester have been covering self-care in great depth and I've learned even more about self-care. It's okay if you find that activities or practices that you once enjoyed no longer help you relax or relieve some stress. That just means it might be times to switch things up! Maybe you need to slow it down or speed things up. It's really trial and error.

I used my month long holiday break from school to catch up on some self care because as my Fall semester progressed, it was harder for me to do the self-care activities that I usually enjoyed when I had the time like taking walks or kickboxing. I put on lipstick and dressed up for self-care on days and weeks that were really busy and I had a lot of assignments due. I felt in would increase my productivity too. I haven't don't much research on the link between lipstick and productivity but I did feel cute and I got my work done!

 I went a little overboard in planning self-care activites for my break. I somehow obtained enough yarn for a year of craft projects, I got a few coloring books,  made a list of shows to watch and catch up on, and my book collection grew 2 sizes. However, life is unpredictable and I mostly slept and colored. I also made one very cute scarf and played The Sims 4 A LOT.

Here is a list of some fun self-care ideas:

• taking a walk
• enjoying a hot cup of tea or coffee
• Zumba
• Kickboxing
• Cooking
• scrapbooking
• bubble baths/hot showers
• shopping
• crafting
• crocheting/knitting
• painting
• coloring
• turn off your computer/phone and do something mindless for 30 minutes
• meditation
• yoga
• put on some makeup
• wear your favorite anything
• write down some of the things your thankful for
• watch your favorite movie/show
• call someone you love or care about
• listen to music
• create a new recipe
• volunteer/sign up for some community service
• play your favorite game
• organize something

There are so many unique ways to take care of ourselves and sometimes we need to switch things up because what we're used to is not what may help or be fitting at the time. It's important that we take care of ourselves. Do what feels right for you!

Communication

My favorite parts of the day are when I have the chance to talk honestly with someone. It doesn't have to be a specific topic or even a specific person. I just love being able to be in a conversation and having the opportunity to share ideas and talk about feelings and just generally be in a safe place that promotes healthy thinking. I'm finding that this is an important part of my self care. It doesn't even have to be with someone that I'm really close with--I love those moments when I can talk honestly with the people I care deeply about but I also love when I can talk honestly with people I've just met and with people that I've only known for a short period of time.

This past week, I've had two of those special honest conversations with people that I didn't know that well. Both conversations were about life and the future. We talked about goals and dreams and visions. It was wonderful. It also eased the fears I had of my future plans. I was very glad I had the time to talk to them. The conversations were great enhancements to my life and my spirits.

It's so important to have people around that you can talk to about what's important to you.  People with similar interests, goals, and values. I think it's great to have someone to vent to and talk about your day to. Conversation is important because sometimes they're magical.

Imagine an end of the day conversation over a nice cup of hot herbal tea. That's one of my reasons to smile. ♥

Your Rights: Safe Places & Self-Care

I want to share this with you just as a reminder that safe places are important. It's important to be in an environment where you are comfortable to express yourself and your feelings. If someone makes you feel like less of a person when you try to be your self or express your feelings then they are not providing you with safe place. They may not be doing it on purpose but it happens so you just have to be on the look out for people who may be bringing you down. That way, you're taking care of yourself. You should never feel belittled for talking about what's important to you.
When you're in a situation like this, it's hard to figure out what to do. You might not want to eliminate them completely from your life so what do you do? I think when you have someone in your life that is providing a high amount of toxic energy but you can't separate yourself there are a few things you can do.

• Try to avoid topics that result in conversations that can hurt you and further damage your relationship. If you're struggling with body issues and this person is constantly policing your body, then try not to have conversations about your body with them. 
• Let them know that certain things that they say bother you. If someone tells you to just "cheer up" when you're feeling depressed, tell them why that's not okay. Tell them that when they say things like this to you, it hurts you because it makes it seem like the depression you feel is something simple that can just be fixed by changing your facial expression.
• Focus on the positives. Try to ignore any negatives that they may be sending and vent later if you need to.
• Most importantly, remember that you are enough. You're a beautiful and wonderful person. No one can ever change that.

I found this link of a list of Your Legitimate Rights. Keep these in mind when you're struggling.

1. You have a right to need things from others. 
2. You have a right to put yourself first sometimes.
3. You have a right to feel and express your emotions or your pain.
4. You have a right to be the final judge of your beliefs and accept them as legitimate.
5. You have the right to your opinions and convictions.
6. You have the right to your experience - even if it’s different from that of other people.
7. You have a right to protest any treatment or criticism that feels bad to you.
8. You have a right to negotiate for change.
9. You have a right to ask for help, emotional support, or anything else you need (even though you may not always get it).
10. You have a right to say no; saying no doesn’t make you bad or selfish.
11. You have a right not to justify yourself to others.
12. You have a right not to take responsibility for someone else’s problem.
13. You have a right to choose not to respond to a situation.
14. You have a right, sometimes, to inconvenience or disappoint others.

♥