24.

It's the last night of my birthday month so I wanted to make sure I've given myself some time to reflect on growing another year older and record my thoughts. I am 24 years old. (Mid-Twenties? At the foot of mid-twenties??) I feel like the years are going by faster. Fast or slow, I'm so thankful to be here. So grateful to be here--still breathing, smiling, crying, and the whole lot. So welcoming of this new year and everything it will bring.

I'm claiming this year as a year of continued growth and self-love. If I could give this year a tagline it would be, "I am deserving." That's a truth that I've been reminding myself of daily lately. I'm deserving of love and self-love and I'm committing to loving myself completely and without apology this upcoming year because I am deserving.

I'm working on forgiving myself for pain that I've caused myself. For the years I didn't love myself. For the time I spent and still spend comparing myself to others and discrediting my own successes and achievements. Forgiving myself for being annoyed with myself when being trapped in the unpopular emotions like anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc. All emotions are important and serve a function. I'm working on forgiving myself for neglecting to validate my feelings because I am deserving.

I'm working on maintaining healthy self-care practices. With 4 more months left of Grad School I'm committing to taking more breaks and remembering to practice self-care even when I have so much work to finish. I learned in this past stressful summer semester that neglecting self-care is not going to reduce stress or anxiety, it's not going to make me work faster, and it's not going to help me get a 4.0. In my experience it makes me sad and stressed--not a great feeling. I've been working on releasing feelings of guilt that make me feel like a slacker when I take a break or a day off from doing my work. I'm working on healing from shame and guilt because I am deserving.

 I'm working on healing. I'm working on celebrating myself and loving myself for who I am. I'm working on surrounding myself with clean healing energy. I'm working on leaving toxic spaces and "leaving the table when love is no longer being served." I'm working on loving myself unconditionally and learning as much about myself as this year has to offer because I am deserving.

I'm still full of dreams. I'm complex. I'm strong and soft at the same time. I am deserving. 

Happy Birthday to Meeee!!!

23.

August 6, 2015 was my birthday. I turned 23 years old. The year of Jordan.

I'm 23 and beautiful. I feel more beautiful with each passing day.

I'm 23 and full of dreams. I love being productive. I'm pretty ambitious but I often let slight laziness procrastination get the best of me. It's like a sickness. Crossing the bridge from my procrastinating ways keeps holding me back.

I'm 23 and a summer baby who cannot take this heat anymore. Give me Fall at least! It's too damn hot and I miss my leggings, boots, and scarves. Give me pumpkin flavored everything and proper hot tea and coffee weather. Please!

I'm 23 and a firm believer in retail therapy. How could anything that feels so good possibly be bad? My bank account knows the answer to this. I'm still looking.

I'm 23 and there are so many things that I wish were happening in my life right now but I'm only human and life requires patience. I don't have all the answers. I believe that it's possible that the universe is unfolding as it should.

I'm 23 and another year can mean so many things. I'm entering this year with incredible and unapologetic self love. I'm starting this year believing in myself. I'm starting this year with a  love and sweetness that I need to spread. I'm praying for another year of love, learning, discovery, excitement, accomplishments, inevitable failures and hurdles and the lessons that come with them, plus so much more.

I'm 23 and so thankful to have seen another year and I'm so excited to see what this year will bring.

Quote of the day:

"i found god in myself

and i loved her

i loved her fiercely."

- Ntozake Shange