The Sisters are Alright

I started my year of reading The Sisters Are Alright by Tamara Winfrey Harris and I’m so glad that I did! Reading The Sisters Are Alright so wonderfully reminded me of the black girl magic within me. It truly is a wonderful read. It’s fun and east to read and it covers so many different important aspects of black womanhood. What’s wrong with black women? Not a damned thing! It’s so empowering to feel the love for black women flow through the pages. Black womanhood is complex and special. It would be impossible to fit all of that magic into one book but this is a great place to start.

            “I love black women, and I want the world to love black women too.”

 On of my favorite components of the book are the "moments in alright" that highlight some of the amazing work that black women are doing in this world. Here's a really important one that actually helped me find a great resource for a paper and a group therapy that I designed. This moment also further affirms me on a path of becoming a black therapist.

 Moments in Alright:

"Believing that sexuality educators, therapists, counselors, and doctors must have more representation by women of color, the Women of Color Sexual Health Network is devoted to empowering and including more women of color, including black women, in he field of sexuality, sexology, and sexual health."

This book wonderfully covers so many important topics including the stereotypes we face as black women, the strong woman narrative, motherhood, respect, relationships, health, and so much more. It leaves you with a desire to continue to learn more about black women. This book was the beginning of a year of reading amazing works by and about black women. I made a short list of nonfiction and fiction works that would be great to read after reading this wonderful book that gives you so much to think about.

Further and Recommended Reading:

• Sister Citizen by Melissa Harris-Perry
• For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf
• Fast Tailed Girls
• Beloved by Toni Morrison
• Jessica Valenti – Full Frontal Feminism
• Ain’t I a Mommy
• Mammy, Jezebel, Sapphire, and their Homegirls
• Soft Magic by Upile Chisala
• Salt by Nayyirah Waheed

-->

Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in School by Monique M. Morris.

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Assata: An Autobiography

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

  Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

 ---

A Few More Quotes I Loved:

"Why am I going to fight what I am? I am made to be a beautiful woman on my own terms, why not just embrace that and be that? Am I going to hate myself forever...or am I going to be free?"

"I do have a right to be treated with respect--to demand respect. I wasn't wrong for doing that. We are never wrong for doing that."

 "What's wrong with black women?

Simple answer: Not a damned thing."

Happy Reading!!

♥

24.

It's the last night of my birthday month so I wanted to make sure I've given myself some time to reflect on growing another year older and record my thoughts. I am 24 years old. (Mid-Twenties? At the foot of mid-twenties??) I feel like the years are going by faster. Fast or slow, I'm so thankful to be here. So grateful to be here--still breathing, smiling, crying, and the whole lot. So welcoming of this new year and everything it will bring.

I'm claiming this year as a year of continued growth and self-love. If I could give this year a tagline it would be, "I am deserving." That's a truth that I've been reminding myself of daily lately. I'm deserving of love and self-love and I'm committing to loving myself completely and without apology this upcoming year because I am deserving.

I'm working on forgiving myself for pain that I've caused myself. For the years I didn't love myself. For the time I spent and still spend comparing myself to others and discrediting my own successes and achievements. Forgiving myself for being annoyed with myself when being trapped in the unpopular emotions like anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc. All emotions are important and serve a function. I'm working on forgiving myself for neglecting to validate my feelings because I am deserving.

I'm working on maintaining healthy self-care practices. With 4 more months left of Grad School I'm committing to taking more breaks and remembering to practice self-care even when I have so much work to finish. I learned in this past stressful summer semester that neglecting self-care is not going to reduce stress or anxiety, it's not going to make me work faster, and it's not going to help me get a 4.0. In my experience it makes me sad and stressed--not a great feeling. I've been working on releasing feelings of guilt that make me feel like a slacker when I take a break or a day off from doing my work. I'm working on healing from shame and guilt because I am deserving.

 I'm working on healing. I'm working on celebrating myself and loving myself for who I am. I'm working on surrounding myself with clean healing energy. I'm working on leaving toxic spaces and "leaving the table when love is no longer being served." I'm working on loving myself unconditionally and learning as much about myself as this year has to offer because I am deserving.

I'm still full of dreams. I'm complex. I'm strong and soft at the same time. I am deserving. 

Happy Birthday to Meeee!!!

Ain't I A Woman

In 1851 at the Women's Right Convention in Akron, Ohio, Sojourner Truth delivered her famous "Ain't I A Woman?" speech and it is still a very important part of our culture and history. This speech is still highly celebrated, shared, and taught. We're still having conversations about who women's rights are for. Sometimes when we're talking about rights we forget that our identities overlap and therefore the rights we're gonna fight for should overlap as well.

Ain't I A Woman is always a great read. Unfortunately there's no way to see these words being read by Sojourner Truth herself but many women have recited them and there is so much beauty and power in all of their performances. I posted some of my favorites below. Enjoy!














---

"Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say."

-Sojourner Truth

Changes in Self-Care

Self-care is so important! It's how we take care of ourselves and taking care of ourselves is how we continue to grow and thrive. We face a lot of stress on a daily basis. On some days more than others but stress is a reality and self-care allows us to cope with that stress and sometimes recover from the damage that stress can have on us.

What I learned recently and what I wish I knew before I thought I was broken is that sometimes there are shifts and changes in your self-care. I was finding that some of the things I was doing for self-care no longer interested me. Some of them, like writing, were unfortunately starting to feel more like work. Some of them just aren't convenient for me at the moment like retail therapy. I love it but I need to be saving so it's not the best option for me. Some things became too time consuming like scrap-booking and I felt it was using up some of the creative energy that I could have been putting towards school.

What I was doing for self-care didn't make me feel as good as it used too and I got pretty worried. Thankfully all of my classes this semester have been covering self-care in great depth and I've learned even more about self-care. It's okay if you find that activities or practices that you once enjoyed no longer help you relax or relieve some stress. That just means it might be times to switch things up! Maybe you need to slow it down or speed things up. It's really trial and error.

I used my month long holiday break from school to catch up on some self care because as my Fall semester progressed, it was harder for me to do the self-care activities that I usually enjoyed when I had the time like taking walks or kickboxing. I put on lipstick and dressed up for self-care on days and weeks that were really busy and I had a lot of assignments due. I felt in would increase my productivity too. I haven't don't much research on the link between lipstick and productivity but I did feel cute and I got my work done!

 I went a little overboard in planning self-care activites for my break. I somehow obtained enough yarn for a year of craft projects, I got a few coloring books,  made a list of shows to watch and catch up on, and my book collection grew 2 sizes. However, life is unpredictable and I mostly slept and colored. I also made one very cute scarf and played The Sims 4 A LOT.

Here is a list of some fun self-care ideas:

• taking a walk
• enjoying a hot cup of tea or coffee
• Zumba
• Kickboxing
• Cooking
• scrapbooking
• bubble baths/hot showers
• shopping
• crafting
• crocheting/knitting
• painting
• coloring
• turn off your computer/phone and do something mindless for 30 minutes
• meditation
• yoga
• put on some makeup
• wear your favorite anything
• write down some of the things your thankful for
• watch your favorite movie/show
• call someone you love or care about
• listen to music
• create a new recipe
• volunteer/sign up for some community service
• play your favorite game
• organize something

There are so many unique ways to take care of ourselves and sometimes we need to switch things up because what we're used to is not what may help or be fitting at the time. It's important that we take care of ourselves. Do what feels right for you!