I have a voice

August 31, 2016

24.


It's the last night of my birthday month so I wanted to make sure I've given myself some time to reflect on growing another year older and record my thoughts. I am 24 years old. (Mid-Twenties? At the foot of mid-twenties??) I feel like the years are going by faster. Fast or slow, I'm so thankful to be here. So grateful to be here--still breathing, smiling, crying, and the whole lot. So welcoming of this new year and everything it will bring.

I'm claiming this year as a year of continued growth and self-love. If I could give this year a tagline it would be, "I am deserving." That's a truth that I've been reminding myself of daily lately. I'm deserving of love and self-love and I'm committing to loving myself completely and without apology this upcoming year because I am deserving.

I'm working on forgiving myself for pain that I've caused myself. For the years I didn't love myself. For the time I spent and still spend comparing myself to others and discrediting my own successes and achievements. Forgiving myself for being annoyed with myself when being trapped in the unpopular emotions like anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc. All emotions are important and serve a function. I'm working on forgiving myself for neglecting to validate my feelings because I am deserving.

I'm working on maintaining healthy self-care practices. With 4 more months left of Grad School I'm committing to taking more breaks and remembering to practice self-care even when I have so much work to finish. I learned in this past stressful summer semester that neglecting self-care is not going to reduce stress or anxiety, it's not going to make me work faster, and it's not going to help me get a 4.0. In my experience it makes me sad and stressed--not a great feeling. I've been working on releasing feelings of guilt that make me feel like a slacker when I take a break or a day off from doing my work. I'm working on healing from shame and guilt because I am deserving.

 I'm working on healing. I'm working on celebrating myself and loving myself for who I am. I'm working on surrounding myself with clean healing energy. I'm working on leaving toxic spaces and "leaving the table when love is no longer being served." I'm working on loving myself unconditionally and learning as much about myself as this year has to offer because I am deserving.

I'm still full of dreams. I'm complex. I'm strong and soft at the same time. I am deserving. 


Happy Birthday to Meeee!!!

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