sit back

do you realize how beautiful this world is? It's a crazy place you know. It's just so real. It's unpredictable, crazy, dangerous, fun, and...it's just you can't blink, you'll miss too much!

I saw a girl today in a lot of trouble. It was crazy. It's a happy time here for us, more or less, first week of classes, a new start or the continuation of something very special, and there she was in the middle of it all, very lost, shocked, and scared. She made a few of us think. We always say how short life is and how you can be on your own personal high and then it can all be taken away from us as fast as it takes us to blink. It's not a matter of making wrong decisions or anything like that. There are just so many things that we just can't control and it's just so unfortunate that to live in this wonderful and crazy world, we have to live through some of those experiences sometimes.

I just think it's important to understand that you can make it. It gets extrememly hard out there sometimes but you have to know that you can make it out. The darkness only lasts for a while. You have to believe that the light is there and you'll find it. "In the darkness there is fear but there is also hope." You don't have to suffer forever. It'll be okay. I know that you're going to make it. I have faith.

love love love

I believe in love so of course I think that magic is real.

I'm totally in the midst of doing chemistry homework for a class that hasn't even started yet when I remembered the night I was up and thinking about magic and that is the conclusion I came too. It reminds me of how the love of Harry Potter's mother saved him from being killed and left him with an awesome scar. I know it may sound cheesy but it was easy to think of and that story is based on bravery and love. I really must get back to my work though.

:)

The fall classes begin on monday and I'm ready! During the summer semester, I did well, adjusted well after some help, and then did well academically with the exception of one C in my American History class :(

Other than the C, I got two beautiful As. I'm very proud of them and they make my C look less unattractive. I'm ready for the new adventure that I'm hoping this semester will bring.

I have a women's studies class that I'm reakky excited about. I took one over summer and it was basically a sex class called Human Sexual Behavior but I learned a lot. It was so much fun. I like women's studies and I'm really thinking about becoming an advocate for women's rights. Who knows how it will all turn out.

With a dream and all the right resources, the possibilities are truly endless.

look at how beautiful you are!

I feel that it's necessary, because i haven't done this in a while, to let the person reading this message to know this:

you are not alone. You're a person with many feeling and emotions and although they may be extremely complex and hard to understand at times, you are not alone.

You are loved and even though that idea is can hard to wrap your head around all the time, it's true. It's hard to see sometimes but the love is always there. It's always around. it may be hard for some people to communicate that love to you and it fogs your vision for a while but you can't forget that the love is there. It's a struggle but it's worth it once your heart begins to smile and the emptiness you were feeling goes away.


love is a battlefield and it is worth the fight and to be certain that you win the fight, you have to love yourslf.


one last important thing, you're beautiful. it's in the way you walk and talk and breathe and basically, it's just in you. it's waiting to be embraced and if you haven't acknowldged and embraced it then how do you think other people will do the same.


Truth is you were wonderfully created and your uniqueness is what gives you your exceptional and wonderful beauty. i can see it. i see it in everyone. it makes me sad when people don't see it in themselves. I get sad on the days i don't see it in myself but it's another struggle that is very much worth the battle.


do away with the blurry vision and look at the beautiful person that is you!


i love you.

you're absolutely wonderful, strong, and phenomenal. I bet you thought it was impossible to be all those things but take a look in the mirror...the person lookikng back at you is all of those things and so much more. especially if you let them be. don't let that wonderful person stay beneath the surface. introduce them to the world and maybe the world will be a little brighter...maybe your heart will smile and little brighter and the sadness will fade away. maybe we can make a change in this place we call home.

It's possible. I'm sure of it and I dream of it daily,
with love...

18!!!

I am now an adult, I guess. August 6th was my birthday and I am now 18 years old. I am an adult now right? Also, the 6th was my last day of classes for the summer semester which was bittersweet in my opinion. I had to take an icky American History final exam but my Human Sexual Behavior class was canceled so I had more time to pack and rest before my mom and my aunt and all of the beautiful little kids came to pick me up. Unfortunately, the cake above was not my birthday cake. My mom got me cake from bob evans, actually, I had my birthday dinner at bob evans. I don't feel that different, especially since I had already been living on my own in college for the past 7 weeks. I do feel a bit older though, I was able to buy a scratch off today and my mom keeps telling me how grown up I am. I think I've always been an adult, not always but for a while, I had grown up very fast and I was mature. I aged from things like saving myself and all the fights I've had that I won! I think those things made me older than I really was.

I'm also going to miss my summer. It was so much fun. My college years are off to a good start I think. I met a lot of cool people and I learned a lot. Of course I went to college to learn but I think I learned a lot about life also. I learned about how it is to live with people and how to manage time. I learned what study techniques work best for me even though I still need to work on that some more...*laughs* I also learned how to take care of myself a little bit better. My mom isn't alway there anymore to help me out so I have to make it work on my own. I'm so glad I'm with her now though on my break between semesters. *yay!!* I also learned to stick up with what I believe no matter what people say about it or try to tell you about it. My beliefs make me who I am so I can't change that for anyone. I'm grown now. I have to stick up for me because it's getting harder and harder to find someone who is going to do it for me. Another year strong and I'm living my life for me!