Books I Read: Imani All Mine

Imani All Mine by Connie Rose Porter has been one of my absolute favorite books since I first read it in the seventh grade. I loved and still love reading stories about black girls that feel authentic--stories that felt like they were about people I see in my own life. I had already loved reading and was always getting lost in books long before I read this book but this book holds a very special place in my heart because it took me on an emotional roller coaster. I'm a very emotional person. I feel emotions very intensely and this wonderful piece of literature had me sobbing uncontrollably in my room the morning I finished it when I was supposed to be getting ready for school. I had no idea that books could have that power over me. I fell in love.

I personally think it's a must read. Imani All Mine is a honest and real story that anyone can find themselves in. Imani All Mine tells the story of Tasha, a fourteen-year-old single mother. Throughout this book we see the various impacts of race, stigma, trauma, poverty, and faith on Tasha's life. I was excited to read this book again as a part of The Free Black Women's Library's 2017 Reading Challenge, a book from your childhood. I was really excited to read this book again as an adult and compare the experiences.

Reading it as an adult, what I find the most interesting about this book is Tasha's relationship with religion and Christianity. We're able to see what, I feel, is a very honest relationship with God. One that relies on faith and blessings but also openly questions how this religion can work in a world where horrible things happen to innocent people and where horrible people can be forgiven for the awful things that they have done. This is a challenge for a lot of people trying to maintain their faith when going through difficult times.

"God is a mystery to me."

Another really important part is the description of the way that memories of trauma not only live in our minds but throughout our entire bodies as well. When incredibly stressful or traumatizing events happen to people the impact that they have on their bodies can last for a long time after the initial event happens. In Tasha's world it would be expected to get over things quickly and move on with life but the body remembers.

"The places where there is memory in you. Underneath your tongue. The middle of your bones. The lonesome spaces deep inside."

I loved reading this book again! It definitely took me back to the seventh grade and I discovering some themes I didn't notice when I was 12. I was definitely moved to tears and uncontrollable sobbing again. I'm still so in love with this book. If you have not read this book yet, you definitely should.

Happy Reading! ♥

The Sisters are Alright

I started my year of reading The Sisters Are Alright by Tamara Winfrey Harris and I’m so glad that I did! Reading The Sisters Are Alright so wonderfully reminded me of the black girl magic within me. It truly is a wonderful read. It’s fun and east to read and it covers so many different important aspects of black womanhood. What’s wrong with black women? Not a damned thing! It’s so empowering to feel the love for black women flow through the pages. Black womanhood is complex and special. It would be impossible to fit all of that magic into one book but this is a great place to start.

            “I love black women, and I want the world to love black women too.”

 On of my favorite components of the book are the "moments in alright" that highlight some of the amazing work that black women are doing in this world. Here's a really important one that actually helped me find a great resource for a paper and a group therapy that I designed. This moment also further affirms me on a path of becoming a black therapist.

 Moments in Alright:

"Believing that sexuality educators, therapists, counselors, and doctors must have more representation by women of color, the Women of Color Sexual Health Network is devoted to empowering and including more women of color, including black women, in he field of sexuality, sexology, and sexual health."

This book wonderfully covers so many important topics including the stereotypes we face as black women, the strong woman narrative, motherhood, respect, relationships, health, and so much more. It leaves you with a desire to continue to learn more about black women. This book was the beginning of a year of reading amazing works by and about black women. I made a short list of nonfiction and fiction works that would be great to read after reading this wonderful book that gives you so much to think about.

Further and Recommended Reading:

• Sister Citizen by Melissa Harris-Perry
• For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf
• Fast Tailed Girls
• Beloved by Toni Morrison
• Jessica Valenti – Full Frontal Feminism
• Ain’t I a Mommy
• Mammy, Jezebel, Sapphire, and their Homegirls
• Soft Magic by Upile Chisala
• Salt by Nayyirah Waheed

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Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in School by Monique M. Morris.

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Assata: An Autobiography

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

  Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

 ---

A Few More Quotes I Loved:

"Why am I going to fight what I am? I am made to be a beautiful woman on my own terms, why not just embrace that and be that? Am I going to hate myself forever...or am I going to be free?"

"I do have a right to be treated with respect--to demand respect. I wasn't wrong for doing that. We are never wrong for doing that."

 "What's wrong with black women?

Simple answer: Not a damned thing."

Happy Reading!!

♥

24.

It's the last night of my birthday month so I wanted to make sure I've given myself some time to reflect on growing another year older and record my thoughts. I am 24 years old. (Mid-Twenties? At the foot of mid-twenties??) I feel like the years are going by faster. Fast or slow, I'm so thankful to be here. So grateful to be here--still breathing, smiling, crying, and the whole lot. So welcoming of this new year and everything it will bring.

I'm claiming this year as a year of continued growth and self-love. If I could give this year a tagline it would be, "I am deserving." That's a truth that I've been reminding myself of daily lately. I'm deserving of love and self-love and I'm committing to loving myself completely and without apology this upcoming year because I am deserving.

I'm working on forgiving myself for pain that I've caused myself. For the years I didn't love myself. For the time I spent and still spend comparing myself to others and discrediting my own successes and achievements. Forgiving myself for being annoyed with myself when being trapped in the unpopular emotions like anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc. All emotions are important and serve a function. I'm working on forgiving myself for neglecting to validate my feelings because I am deserving.

I'm working on maintaining healthy self-care practices. With 4 more months left of Grad School I'm committing to taking more breaks and remembering to practice self-care even when I have so much work to finish. I learned in this past stressful summer semester that neglecting self-care is not going to reduce stress or anxiety, it's not going to make me work faster, and it's not going to help me get a 4.0. In my experience it makes me sad and stressed--not a great feeling. I've been working on releasing feelings of guilt that make me feel like a slacker when I take a break or a day off from doing my work. I'm working on healing from shame and guilt because I am deserving.

 I'm working on healing. I'm working on celebrating myself and loving myself for who I am. I'm working on surrounding myself with clean healing energy. I'm working on leaving toxic spaces and "leaving the table when love is no longer being served." I'm working on loving myself unconditionally and learning as much about myself as this year has to offer because I am deserving.

I'm still full of dreams. I'm complex. I'm strong and soft at the same time. I am deserving. 

Happy Birthday to Meeee!!!

Ain't I A Woman

In 1851 at the Women's Right Convention in Akron, Ohio, Sojourner Truth delivered her famous "Ain't I A Woman?" speech and it is still a very important part of our culture and history. This speech is still highly celebrated, shared, and taught. We're still having conversations about who women's rights are for. Sometimes when we're talking about rights we forget that our identities overlap and therefore the rights we're gonna fight for should overlap as well.

Ain't I A Woman is always a great read. Unfortunately there's no way to see these words being read by Sojourner Truth herself but many women have recited them and there is so much beauty and power in all of their performances. I posted some of my favorites below. Enjoy!














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"Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say."

-Sojourner Truth

Changes in Self-Care

Self-care is so important! It's how we take care of ourselves and taking care of ourselves is how we continue to grow and thrive. We face a lot of stress on a daily basis. On some days more than others but stress is a reality and self-care allows us to cope with that stress and sometimes recover from the damage that stress can have on us.

What I learned recently and what I wish I knew before I thought I was broken is that sometimes there are shifts and changes in your self-care. I was finding that some of the things I was doing for self-care no longer interested me. Some of them, like writing, were unfortunately starting to feel more like work. Some of them just aren't convenient for me at the moment like retail therapy. I love it but I need to be saving so it's not the best option for me. Some things became too time consuming like scrap-booking and I felt it was using up some of the creative energy that I could have been putting towards school.

What I was doing for self-care didn't make me feel as good as it used too and I got pretty worried. Thankfully all of my classes this semester have been covering self-care in great depth and I've learned even more about self-care. It's okay if you find that activities or practices that you once enjoyed no longer help you relax or relieve some stress. That just means it might be times to switch things up! Maybe you need to slow it down or speed things up. It's really trial and error.

I used my month long holiday break from school to catch up on some self care because as my Fall semester progressed, it was harder for me to do the self-care activities that I usually enjoyed when I had the time like taking walks or kickboxing. I put on lipstick and dressed up for self-care on days and weeks that were really busy and I had a lot of assignments due. I felt in would increase my productivity too. I haven't don't much research on the link between lipstick and productivity but I did feel cute and I got my work done!

 I went a little overboard in planning self-care activites for my break. I somehow obtained enough yarn for a year of craft projects, I got a few coloring books,  made a list of shows to watch and catch up on, and my book collection grew 2 sizes. However, life is unpredictable and I mostly slept and colored. I also made one very cute scarf and played The Sims 4 A LOT.

Here is a list of some fun self-care ideas:

• taking a walk
• enjoying a hot cup of tea or coffee
• Zumba
• Kickboxing
• Cooking
• scrapbooking
• bubble baths/hot showers
• shopping
• crafting
• crocheting/knitting
• painting
• coloring
• turn off your computer/phone and do something mindless for 30 minutes
• meditation
• yoga
• put on some makeup
• wear your favorite anything
• write down some of the things your thankful for
• watch your favorite movie/show
• call someone you love or care about
• listen to music
• create a new recipe
• volunteer/sign up for some community service
• play your favorite game
• organize something

There are so many unique ways to take care of ourselves and sometimes we need to switch things up because what we're used to is not what may help or be fitting at the time. It's important that we take care of ourselves. Do what feels right for you!

2015 Happiness Jar Reflection

This is my second year keeping a happiness jar. I loved it so much last year that I had to do it again and I plan on doing it next year as well. I didn't have dates on my memories last year so I made sure I did that this year. There were still some memories that I read and had to think about for a minute because I did not remember them happening at all. Next year I'm going to try to keep up with it better. Between maybe June and December I forgot to add memories so a few weeks ago I tried to remember every happy "jar-worthy" memory and add it to the jar. Despite forgetting about the jar for months at a time, I really love this activity.

I love that it's given me two great traditions. I love decorating my jar at the beginning of the year and I love sitting in my pajamas on New Year's Eve reading the moments from the year that brought me joy and reflecting on what I've learned over the past year. It's really nice.

One of the challenges of reading what I've put in the jar is reading and remembering great moments with people you are no longer on great terms with. This year I learned the importance of moving on. I found a 3 year old tweet today in my timehop that I think it just as relevant today, "at 11:59, keep the good and let go of the bad." Sometimes people are just passing through our lives but it doesn't mean that the shared moments aren't' memorable or that the lessons you've learned from them aren't significant.

Taking the time to reflect is what makes all the difference in how we're able to move on from certain moments. Take the time to love yourself and understand how the people in your life and your experiences are impacting your life and your energy. You are so deserving of love! I love that this activity gives me a chance to remember what good energy I've had around me during the year. My mind already does a great job at keeping bad memories so I'm thankful for a place to keep the good...in print too!

Overall I think I had a pretty good year. Life is full of surprises and challenges but I think I've really grown this year. I've learned to love myself in ways that I haven't before. There have been so many days when I've been so happy to be here and so appreciative of life and the people I love. I hope I can continue to bring this self love into the next year. I've felt more beautiful this entire year (life 98% of the time) and that's been so important for me. I'm so glad to have had another year of life and lessons, good and bad, and I'm excited to see what 2016 will bring.

I hope that 2016 brings you joy, happiness, healing, and anything else you need or desire. Good Luck! Sending you love and good wishes!

Black Girl Magic: Emmys Edition

I've always loves award shows because I think it's so inspiring to see people being awarded for their work. I love seeing people so proud of themselves and their peers. It's even more special when there a beautiful women who look like me. Beautiful shades of gorgeous brown skin, amazing women making history. So many women supporting each other. Looking beautiful on the red carpet and basking in excellence! May all the Black Girl Magic from that night continue to inspire us.

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The hugs felt around the world

 Viola Davis and her incredible acceptance speech

“'In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields and lovely flowers and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me, over that line. But I can’t see to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.’

That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s. And let me tell you something: The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there. So here’s to all the writers, the awesome people that are Ben Sherwood, Paul Lee, Peter Nowalk, Shonda Rhimes, people who have redefined what it means to be beautiful, to be sexy, to be a leading woman, to be black. And to the Taraji P. Hensons, the Kerry Washingtons, the Halle Berrys, the Nicole Beharies, the Meagan Goods, to Gabrielle Union: Thank you for taking us over that line. Thank you to the Television Academy. Thank you.”

♥

Regina King's win and speech

Uzo Aduba's win and speech

And of course, the red carpet

 I hope that we continue to see more and more black girl magic. At award shows, in television and movies, in books, and anywhere and everywhere else!

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"The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity." 

-Viola Davis

Quote of the day:

 

Born and Made

Carol's Daughter and I Am That Girl have joined forces to create the #BornandMade campaign to empower women and inspire them to celebrate who they are and the person they feel they were always meant to be. I saw a few of the pictures people made in support of the campaign and I fell in love! Especially since I am Karol's daughter and this campaign was created by the company Carol's Daughters. I love it! You can make them at BornandMade.com.

I chose the word hope because I think it describes me quite well. I even have the word "hope" tattooed on my body. Hope to me is the promise of a beautiful tomorrow. I believe in a lot of things and I think that's why this word means so much to me. There's a lot of strength and courage in believing in yourself. To me, hope looks and feels like not giving up. Like my tattoo, it's a reminder that despite the circumstances, I'm going to keep on soaring.

I hope this campaign inspires even more women to celebrate themselves.
Be true to the person you see in the mirror. Love them. Learn more about them, their desires and passions. Work with them to create a more beautiful tomorrow. Take it one day at a time!

brown girl dreaming

Brown Girl Dreaming 

by Jacqueline Woodson

I really enjoyed this book! Jacqueline Woodson tells her childhood stories through free verse. It's so motivating and so inspirational. From the very beginning, brown girl dreaming perfectly captures the complicated beauty and strength and complexity of familial ties and the stories that come along with them. My absolute favorite part of reading this was feeling the determination of this young girl. This was a true reminder that we can achieve our childhood dreams. We all have the ability to follow our dreams to the best of our abilities despite our age, despite any family objections, and despite any perceived unlikeliness, our dreams are worth chasing. 

I also love that these childhood experiences and these stories are filled with so much perspective. I think that we all have our own way of viewing the world because we're all shaped by our own personal stories and experiences but there are similarities that bring us together and help us relate with complete strangers. Even though I wasn't a young girl growing up in Greenville, South Carolina in 1963 or in Bushwick in 1969, these stories still resonate with me. 

Just like in life, there are moments throughout her childhood that make us think our personal experiences and relationships with family, love, doubt, friendships, music, community/neighborhoods, birth, death, and so much more. It really was a great read. 

Recommended for

• all brown girls ready to chase a dream 
• all readers, especially middle schoolers
• anyone looking for stories about moving 
• City girls
• Southern girls
• people who love to write
•  People who believe in themselves, are learning to believe in themselves, want to learn how to believe in themselves. 
• Anyone who is a big fan of reading stories about people living through history/historical moments
• anyone who has ever thought that they were a little different but believed in themselves anyway

____
 
Favorite Parts & Quotes 

"You'll face in your life someday,
my mother will tell us
over and over again.
A moment when you walk into a room and 
no one there is like you." 


"Even the silence
has a story to tell you.
Just listen. Listen."


"The revolution is always going to be happening.
I want to write this down, that the revolution is like
a merry go round, history is always being made somewhere. 
And maybe for a short time,
we're apart of that history. And then the ride stops
and our turn is over[...]
My name is Jacqueline Woodson
and I am ready for the ride."


"I believe in one day and someday and this
perfect moment called Now."

 
"When there are many worlds, love can wrap itself 
around you, say, Don't cry. Say, You are as good as anyone
Say, Keep remembering me. And you know, even as the world explodes
around you--that you are loved..." 

-Jacqueline Woodson

Thank you, Jacqueline Woodson, for your beautiful words!  

Inspirational Sources May Vary

 As I sit here watching MasterChef and I think about how much I love competition shows like this. This one is only one of my favorites. I'm also a big fan of Top Chef, Project Runway, Chopped, Great Food Truck Race, and so many others. I love television programs that showcase people working so hard to achieve or gain better access to their life goals and dreams. I think these shows are so inspirational. They can be such a big source of motivation as well. A lot of times, we see people drop so much to go to where these shows are filmed and stay there for weeks at a time because they so strongly believe in following their dreams. It's perfect example of putting "faith over fear." 

I think we should aspire to chase our dreams. In a perfect world, wouldn't it be great if we were all able to drop everything to chase our dreams. In a perfect world, we probably wouldn't have anything standing in our way. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world. However, there is so much beauty in the process of baby steps and slowly turning our dreams into reality. Sometimes beautiful and amazing things take time. We cannot make things happen overnight, but we cannot let the size of our dreams deter us from taking that first brave step.

So I watch these shows because I think it's so cool to see hard work turn into something beautiful and see people proud of what they've made. It's cool to watch people overcome failures and work through losses and challenges. They're people like us. We can identify with their stories and they motivate us to chase our own dreams. It's all very cool!