On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer

"It came to her just before sleep, an idea crystallizing in the dark--how maybe the size of your world ain't what matter, whether it expand or shrink up or expand again. Hurdles to jump. You jump. Erase the lines, draw new ones. Chart a course and follow." (p290)

I recently finished reading On The Come Up by Hannah Weyer. I found out about this book when going through the Our Song tag on tumblr. This book is based on the life of Anna Simpson, one of the girls who stars in the film. Because I loved the movie, I had to make sure I found this book and I am so glad I did. This was a real page turner. I couldn't get enough of it. I really appreciated how honest and real this story came across. I also think that this is the first story I've read in a long time that really takes place in NYC and I especially loved that because I'm living in NYC again. I think that made it feel more real to me. I also loved any part of the book that was set while they were filming the movie. It felt like I was going behind the scenes of one of my favorite movies!

I loved reading this book early every morning during my commute to work. It was so easy to get lost in this book. I'm so glad I found it!

I recommend this for readers who:

• like to read biograhpies
• enjoy oral histories
• like stories that take place in urban settings
• want to read a story that takes place in NYC/Far Rockaway
• want to read a story about aspiring actresses/singers
• enjoy "coming of age" stories
• are interested in reading about teenage pregnancy/parenthood
• liked the movie "Our Song"
• are interested in reading LGBT stories
• love books you van get lost in

Because it is one of my favorite movies, here's the trailer for Our Song.

♥

Retail Therapy!

I think that shopping/retail therapy can be a great form of self care. I think so because when you're treating yourself, the focus is on you! Even when you're shopping for people you love, it feels great because your thinking about the people you love and care about and how you can make them happy. For me, making other people happy is a wonderful source of my own happiness. I make sure that I can make myself happy as much as possible. It's been harder during my long summer camp days to find time for me that does not include sleeping and showering. So I was excited to get some time in to buy somethings I needed and wanted too!

This week I decided that it was okay to treat myself. I was responding to my body's requests. I was stressed, tired, my feet hurt from these field trips and I thought that it was time to do a little pampering. I deserve it!

Over the past few days, I bought myself two new pairs of sneakers, a pair of sandals, and I treated myself to a much needed mani and pedi. All of the shoes were on sale so I got a great deal. Here are the results of my spending on me "spree."

The Other Side of Paradise

I recently finished reading "The Other Side of Paradise" by Staceyann Chin. I really enjoyed it. There were parts that made me laugh. There were parts that made me cry and gave me goosebumps. It had all the things I loved. The Other Side of Paradise, a memoir, was honest and left me wanting more. I've always been a big fan of Staceyann Chin. She has a wonderful way with words. You can always feel her passion and energy in her words. This book is no different.

♥ 

Quotes I loved:

"It tickles me to think that from my very first breath, everyone expected me to stop breathing. Against the odds, I surprised everybody. And I must admit that in some of the moments of my life so far, no one has been more taken aback by my own breath than me." (p.13)

"What you don't know is older than you! Sometimes your eyes fail you--sometimes what you see is not what is there." (p.44)

"...a man who only want to bring you down on you back is a man who will want to bring you down in life." (p.51)

"Read everything. The more knowledge you have, the less a man can use you for poppy-show" (p.51)

"Suddenly it dawns on me that, though leaving is hard, this is something I want to do. The choice to go is my decision. For the first time in my life my leaving is something I want to be happening to me. (p.271)

"I go from place to place spouting the gospel of courage and survival. I encourage victims to take hold of destiny and chart it for themselves." (p.274)

I recommend this book for people who:

• enjoy reading memoirs
• enjoy diversity in books
• want to read about queer people of color/women of color
• love Staceyann Chin
• want to read a story that takes place in Jamaica
• love real and honest readings
• want to read about real people and real imperfect families
• enjoy poetry and spoken word
• enjoy reading stories written by black women

Celebrating Me: July 6th

 

I am so proud of myself today. I was very productive. I cleaned my room. Did laundry.  Moisturized my hair and put my mini twists in flexirods (see scarf). Washed my sister's hair. Got my lunch ready for tomorrow. Refilled my metrocard. It was a good day. I did everything I set out to do this weekend. However, I planned to go to be at 10 and as I type this it is 10:04 so that didn't work out but it's okay. My bed isn't going anywhere and in the morning there will be coffee.

My job has transitioned from afterschool to summer camp so now my work day starts at 8. I secretly love mornings. I like sleeping in too but I really don't mind if I have to get up early. I think mornings are wonderful. A lot of times they're quiet. There's coffee and breakfast food!! It's usually cooler in the morning time. I'm a fan of mornings. To make my morning go smoothly, I do as much as I can the night before. I even instagrammed a little video of me making my salad and iced coffee. See it here.

Today, I'm so thankful for my family and all of the time I get to spend with them.

My selfie day today reminds me that my birthday is one month away! It also reminds me that half of the year has already flown by. I'm not sure about you but it feels like this year is going by so quickly! I'm honestly ready for the cold months to come back.

I'm currently reading The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin. I really love it. I'm almost finished. Finishing books can be so bittersweet sometimes. I'm really enjoying reading this story. With it being summer time, I've been seeing a lot of summer reading lists and my book wishlist is just getting longer and longer. I'm going to be excited to finish this book and then sad that it's over but then excited to start the next book. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to read next but I have plenty of good titles to choose from.

My productive day has left me tired but feeling accomplished. This heat has me miserable but I'm about to go moisturize with some lavender oil and drink some refreshing ice cold water.

Today, only after a refreshing and exfoliating shower, I felt wonderful and calm in my own skin. I'm happy to be where I am today and I'm excited to see what this month beings. 

Friendly Reminder

Your life and your experiences are always valid.

Don't spend your life comparing yourself to others. While it may seem that someone else is going through a hard time, it does not mean that what you're going through isn't important. If someone is more open about what they're going through, it doesn't make your life and your experiences any less real. If someone isn't really open about what their life and their experiences, it doesn't mean that their what they feel is not real. 

We're all human. It's natural for us all to feel different things and react differently to events in life. Nothing about us is one size fits all. We're different and that's good. That's what makes us all so special. That's also why we all need to have our differences respected and in respecting other people and their differences, we have to respect that we are different and our own differences need to be respected. Be good to you. You're worth it!

We matter. Our lives matter. Look at the person next to you, behind you, in front of you--think of the next person you're going to see. They matter. Their life matters. Their experiences and lives are valid and they deserved your respect. 

You're wonderful. Have a good day.

Feel Good Friday

Happy Friday!! The weekend is here and we've made it through another week! This was a pretty good week for me. It was a slow week but it gave me a chance to relax at home. I spent a lot of time playing The Sims 3 and marathoning some good TV. The summer camp I'll be working at this starts next week so I'm making sure I get some rest now.

This Friday morning, I'm starting my day off drinking a good cup of coffee and listening to some beautiful music. I just played "Put Your Records On" by Corrine Bailey Rae. Here, listen:

♥

Here's some more inspiration for your Friday, a quote that I love.

"Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they value you. 
Read it over. 
Again. 
Let those words resonate in your mind."

- Nayyirah Waheed

I hope you have a wonderful day and a beautiful weekend.

You are loved.

For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf

Just finished reading something special. For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When The Rainbow is Enuf is a choreopoem by Ntozake Shange. I read this and it made me feel special. It makes me feel powerful in my own skin. I was finishing it on the bus and holding back tears. Right before I finished reading this, I took the time to read an article called Black Girls and Suicide. It was a really emotional commute for me. It's definitely something I would recommend. I also highly recommend the Black Girls and Suicide article.

Here are some of my favorite parts and quotes:

"& this is for colored girls who have considered suicide / but are moving to the ends of their own rainbows"

♥

“my love is too delicate to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too beautiful to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too sanctified to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too magic to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too saturday nite to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too complicated to have thrown back on my face.
my love is too music to have thrown back on my face.”

♥  

I just love this part to pieces. These words, like so many others in the book touched me so much. My love is too delicate to have thrown back in my face. I cannot trust it with just anyone. It is very important to me to give my love and my self only to those who I think deserve it. I've decided that I don't want to be stepped on. I don't want to put something do important to me in the hands of someone who doesn't value it. One of biggest battles and one thing that I try so hard to change is my feeling guilty about being selfish about my own self. I am priceless. You are priceless. We don't have to share any part of ourselves with anyone else. What you want to share is up to you. What I share is up to me. The decision is mine. Through recovery, self discovery, self realizations, triumphs, sadnesses and successes, my magical love has held me when no one else could and I'm not in any position to just throw it around.

♥

"this is mine/ this ain't yr stuff/
now why don't you put me back & let me hang out in my own self"

"wontchu put me back/

"stealing my shit from me/ don't make it yrs / makes it stolen/"

"if it's really my stuff/ ya gotta give it to me / if ya really want it / i'm the only one / can handle it"

My experiences are mine and they are valid. My life is my own and not to be compared with anyone else's.  I refuse to have my accomplishments shared while I drown in my losses alone.

Protect yourself from people that only want to be there for the highs. Watch out for those who are only around when you're up. Some people only want to share your successes but are no where to be found when you need help or when you're down.

Be careful not to compare your life and your "stuff" to other people's. You are living one life and one life only and it is yours. There is no competition. We were not put on this planet to race or compete with anyone. Live your life to the best of your ability. It's the only one you have so don't waste it focusing on someone else's.

You belong to you. I belong to me! I am my own woman.

♥

"one thing i don't need

is any more apologies

i got sorry greetin me at my front door

you can keep yrs

i dont know what to do wit em

they dont open doors

or bring the sun back

they dont make me happy

or get a morning paper

didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars

cuz a sorry

i am simply tired  of collectin"

It's hard to hear sorry sometimes. It's almost like a reflex to some people. Sometimes it doesn't have any meaning behind it. Sometimes I get sick of that word "sorry." I want to hear someone take responsibility. I think apologies should mean something. Don't even get me started on those super fake apologies that sound like, "I'm sorry that you think I did something wrong." What does that even mean? When you apologize, you should take responsibility instead of placing the blame on the person you've wronged. Sometimes I just don't know how to feel about "I'm sorry." Most times I appreciate the effort but "sorry" doesn't always fix anything and sometimes people don't even mean it.

"let sorry soothe yr soul / i'm gonna soothe mine"

♥

"but bein alive & bein a woman & being colored is a metaphysical dilemma / i havent conquered yet / do you see the point my spirit is too ancient to understand the separation of soul & gender / my love is too delicate to have thrown back on my face"

♥

"i found god in myself
& I loved her / i loved her fiercely"

Bedtime Yoga Routine

I found a wonderful yoga routine for evening and bedtime. It's very gentle and relaxing. Try it!

Monday Morning Yoga

Good morning beautiful! It's the beginning of a new week! Before you start your week off. How about starting your week off by setting a few minutes aside to focus on yourself. Take deep breaths and just think about whatever your heart desires. My suggestion this morning is yoga. Yoga is great because it's relaxing and it's good for your body. It can help increase flexibility, improve balance, reduce anxiety, and lower stress levels. Here is a cute routine I found on pinterest that I love. While you do your yoga, I would suggest playing music that you like and find soothing. I'll add some recommendations below the yoga poses.

Recommended Music/Noise:

• RainyMood.com
• Private Party
• He Mele No Lilo
• Thinkin Bout You
• The World's Greatest
• We Are Young
• We Are the World
• Ain't No Mountain High Enough
• Stronger
• Don't Stop Me Now
• What a Wonderful World

I hope you have a beautiful day and a wonderful week! ♥

Celebrating Me: June 6th

This has been a long week and that ponytail has been working hard! Today was Friday and I was looking forward to it all week! It's the end of a tough week and Orange is the New Black season two came out today! My hair desperately needs to be washed and I'm glad the weekend is here so that I can tend to my hair. I had a pretty good day at work today even though I just wanted to stay at home curled up in my bed.

I'm thankful for all of the people in my life and I'm thankful for my job. In the last month I have had a lot of Dunkin Donuts coffee so I think I should say that I'm thankful for that too.

Last week I bought a bunch of Shea Moisture because it was on sale and I have so many new favorite products. They smell so good and they're good for my hair and skin. Shopping, self care, skin and hair loving all wrapped up in one BOGO event. Love it!

I'm really looking forward to just laying in bed curled up with my laptop. I think I really just need some time to relax so I think I'll spend my Saturday night doing just that. That's the plan, anyway.

I also really want to see the Fault in Our Stars movie. I read the book and absolutely loved it so I can't wait to see it on the big screen. I've spoken with a few people who have seen it already and they all loved it!

Well, it's Friday night and my bed has been calling me since I got out of it this morning! If you're reading this, I hope you have a wonderful weekend!